Fullmetal Alchemist Musical
by Brigette Janine
Summary: High School Musical spoof. Envy gets dragged into a karaoke contest where he meets Roxanne. The two bond. What happens next is absolute chaos. Envy auditions for a musical and the Homunculi try to take over Central once and for all. R&R Please. It's done!
1. The Start of Something New

This is my second FanFic so far. I was palying HSM 3: Dance in Wii, and thought, "What would happen if Envy was Troy?"

Envy is spending New Year's Eve away from home and makes an unlikely friend. Chaos ensues.

Disclaimer: If I owned FMA or HSM, I wouldn't be writing FanFic.

* * *

Chapter 1: The Start of Something New

(Setting: A nightclub in Central. It's New Year's Eve. The room is filled with people, Military, non-military and one lone homunculus sitting in the corner.)

Envy sat in a corner. Why did he come here again?

Oh, yeah. To get away from the others. They were planning some confrontation with the State Alchemists again. Normally, he was all over these things, but this time, he wasn't as interested. So why was he here? He heard there was a party. A perfect place to just sit and think and get lost in the crowd. Sure there were military people here. He even saw the Fullmetal pipsqueak across the room talking to Colonel Pyromaniac, but he didn't want to fight tonight. Tonight was a night to sit and watch.

Two people stepped down from a platform where a karaoke machine and two microphones were standing. The DJ came on over the loudspeaker, "Thanks for being such good sports, guys! And now who's next for our karaoke contest?" A searchlight swept over the crowd and landed on a girl with short curly brown hair and bright green eyes in the corner. The DJ called enthusiastically to her, "Come on girl, let's see your hidden talent!"

The girl's eyes widened in horror, "No, really I'm fine."

The DJ grinned, "Sorry, honey, come on up! Let's help her, people!"

Envy smiled as he saw the girl being pushed and nudged toward the front platform. The DJ spoke again, "And now for victim number two." The spotlight swept around the room again and then Envy's slit pupils contracted to thin lines as the bright spotlight shone on him. The DJ called, "You there, the one who looks like a palm tree!" Envy resented that comment immensely. "Come on up!"

"You really don't want me to, buddy," Envy called back up to him.

The DJ grinned, "Now I do. Come on people, let's encourage him!"

People around him started cheering and a few started chanting, "Palm tree, palm tree, palm tree!" Envy made a mental note to beat them to a pulp later.

As he got closer to the platform, he saw hid new singing partner for the first time. She was short. Shorter than the Fullmetal pipsqueak, even. She couldn't have been over 5'4". She was wearing a bright blue v-neck sweater with a hood, a denim skirt with pink apples and black knee-high boots. Her curly hair came down just to her jaw, accenting her angular face. She gave him an encouraging smile as he stepped onto the platform.

He thanked the powers that be that he had opted out of his usual skirt and tank top outfit for two reasons. One, it was freezing outside, it has actually started snowing. And two, he was feeling self-conscious enough on the platform in jeans and a black hoodie, he didn't need people staring at the red ouroboros on his left thigh.

The DJ addressed his victims on the platform, "You know, someday, you'll thank me for this."

"Hardly," said Envy, as he heard the girl next to him say the same thing.

"Whatever."

The karaoke machine screen glowed blue as the words faded in. Luckily, Envy knew the song well enough to get the opening notes right.

"Living in my own world, didn't understand, that anything can happen, when you take a chance." He stepped back from his microphone, but surprisingly, the girl picked up with perfect timing.

"I never believed in, what I couldn't see, I never opened my heart,"

"Oh," Envy interjected quickly.

"To all the possibilities. Oh,"

They sang together, "I know that something has changed, Never felt this way, And right here tonight, This could be the start, Of something new, It feels so right, To be here with you, And now looking in your eyes, I feel in my heart, The start of something new."

Envy couldn't believe it, he was actually having fun! He started shifting his weight back and forth to the music between the two verses, then the words came on again, "Now who'd of ever thought that, We'd both be here tonight?"

The girl started singing again in a voice that wasn't quite high enough to be soprano, but a little higher than an alto, "And the world looks so much brighter, With you by my side!" She reached out towards him and he, not knowing what to do, high-fived her, and she laughed.

Now they were both dancing as the refrain came around again, "I know that something has changed, Never felt this way, And right here tonight, This could be the start, Of something new, It feels so right, To be here with you, And now looking in your eyes, I feel in my heart, The start of something new."

Envy took the microphone out of its stand and swished his long hair dramatically, "I never knew that it could happen, Till it happened to me!"

The girl was now smiling at him, revealing a set of braces with turquoise little-plastic-thingies on the brackets, "I didn't know it before, But now it's easy to see,"

"It's the start, Of something new, It feels so right, To be here with you, And now looking in your eyes, I feel in my heart, That it's the start, Of something new, It feels so right, To be here with you, And now looking in your eyes, I feel in my heart, the start of something new."

"The start of something new," He sang, looking at her.

"The start of something new," She sang, and looked into his violet eyes

"The start of something new."

The crowd went wild. The girl looked at the homunculus nervously, "I'm Roxanne," she said, holding out her hand.

"I'm-erm-Envy," he said, taking her hand. _Why was he so stupid? Why didn't he use a fake name?_

"Um, do you want some coffee?"

"Yeah, sure anything to get away from this mob," Envy agreed. The duo made their way through the crowd, patting them on the back, and even a couple of wolf-whistles, but whatever. The palm-tree cheering faction had started again, but this time it didn't bother Envy.

They sat down at a table in the corner, sipping their coffee. Hers was French vanilla with cream and sugar, his was extra-bold black.

"So, how long have you been singing? You have an amazing voice!" Envy asked Roxanne.

"A couple years, but mostly just in the shower and at family gatherings and stuff," she sipped her coffee, "what about you? You're not too shabby yourself."

"Eh, my…family isn't really musically inclined." _Except for Lust_, he thought, _she used to play a mean Beethoven on the piano at their house_. He then thought of Gluttony, who had tried to eat the piano and was burping up keys all month. Apparently, he didn't digest ivory very well.

All of a sudden, the crowd was shouting, "Five…Four…Three…Two…ONE!!! Happy New Year!!"

"Oh, wow, it's midnight already? I need to find my ride in this mob," she gestured to the crowd still shouting and watching Colonel Pyro putting on a mini fireworks show and setting off the sprinkler above him.

"Wait," Envy said, touching her elbow as she stood up, "can I have your number?"

"Oh," she said, flustered, "yeah sure, here."

They traded phones and as he saved the contacts, he said, "You know, that's the most fun I've had in a while," but when he looked up, she was gone.

Later, back at the house where the homunculi were living, Lust looked up from the paperback she was reading. "You're home late," she said, "where were you?"

"Out," Envy said evasively.

"Whatever, just remember that tomorrow we start our plan to beat the State Alchemists once and for all."

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

"What got into you?"

"Nothing," he said, "Happy New Year." That night, as he lay in bed and thought about the day, he couldn't stop thinking about Roxanne. He'd probably never see her again, and that made him sad. He shook his head, he needed to focus. Tomorrow, they were going to infiltrate Central headquarters. And with that thought, he fell asleep.

* * *

Aww, Sweet Dreams, Envy!! I'll put up the next chapter soon!!!  
~~Brigette Janine 3


	2. Cell Phones

Hey people!! Brigette Janine Here with Chapter two of the Fullmetal Alchemist Musical based on Disney's High School Musical.

My cast isn't complete. I still need a Mrs. Darbis. I'm thinking either Hohenheim or Armstrong.

Disclaimer: I don't own the computer I'm witing on, and therefore can't possibly own FMA or HSM.

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Chapter Two: Cell Phones

(Setting: Central HQ, Envy, Greed, Wrath and Lust are walking down a hallway in military robes, Wrath with a silver pocket watch)

Lust turned to the other three homunculi, "Okay, here's the plan. Wrath, You'll be working with Sloth and Pride in the Fuhrer's office as the official Alchemist bodyguard of the Fuhrer."

"Yay!" Said the young homunculus, "I get to work with Mommy!" He hurried off to the corridor where the Fuhrer's office suite was located.

"Sometimes I worry about that child," Lust mused, "Greed, you and I will be working with that nut-job Hughes to find out the whereabouts of Scar."

"'Kay," said Greed, and he sauntered in the opposite direction of Wrath.

Lust turned to Envy, "You'll be working under Colonel Mustang, keeping an eye on him and the boy if he shows up."

"WHAT!?" Envy exploded, "Why do I get stuck with Colonel Pyro _and _the Fullmetal pipsqueak?"

"Because you're more capable than Wrath, and I want to keep my eye on Greed. I could use Gluttony, but he's better staying at the house. Therefore, you're the lucky winner. Don't draw suspicion to yourself, and under no circumstances are you allowed to kill, harm or in any way permanently damage the Elric boys. Do you understand?"

"Yes, ma'am," Envy saluted ironically.

"Good, and if I find out that you're not behaving the way you should, I will personally make sure that every FanFiction featuring you will involves a relationship with Ed."

Envy gasped in horror, "You wouldn't."

"Try me."

The two homunculi stared at each other for a moment, then Envy sighed, "So where is Colonel Pyro right now?"

"He's giving a lecture on the history of State Alchemists."

"Figures, he loves to hear himself talk."

"Now go, the lecture breaks in two minutes, insinuate yourself with the crowd and listen to what he has to say."

"Right-o."

"We'll meet back here at the end of the day."

"Affirmative." And he strode off to the lecture hall on the second floor.

Lust called to his back, "Remember, one wrong move and it'll be Edvy for the rest of your life!"

Envy sauntered up to the lecture hall, sat down on a bench and waited for Colonel Pyro-_Mustang_ he thought to himself, _I should start calling him Mustang_, to take a break from his lecture. Not five seconds later, the two double doors swung open into the hallway and about thirty people in military robes walked out. Envy heard Mustang calling from inside the lecture hall, "Alright, you have five minutes!"

Envy seized the opportunity, and slipped into the lecture hall. The room was brightly lit and smelled strongly of dog-OF THE MILITARY! Ha. Good one Envy.

People started filing back into the lecture hall carrying cups of coffee and chatting animatedly. Then Envy heard a voice from behind him, "Hey Envy!"

"Ah!" Envy jumped and saw Wrath sitting at the desk behind him. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be with Pride and Sloth!"

"I know," the young homunculus quipped, "but mommy seems to think that you're more likely to get into trouble than I am, so she sent me to watch you."

"Whatever," Envy sighed and turned around to face the podium Mustang was walking back toward.

"Okay everyone, quiet down," he called the hall to order.

_Great_, Envy thought, I _get an extra twenty minutes of sleep_. Just as he was drifting off, the double-doors to the lecture hall burst open and a girl with short brown hair burst in.

"Sorry I'm late!" She called to Mustang as she sprinted down the aisle, "I got lost, then I asked this guy Havoc if he knew where the lecture on State Alchemists was, then he went off on this tangent on how Colonel Mustang was giving the lecture and how he was probably just doing it for a promotion and-"

"Just sit down," Mustang passed a weary hand over his face. "Now as I was saying…"

Envy looked at the girl, she was familiar, but he couldn't place it. Then she turned her head and he realized she looked exactly like the girl from the nightclub, only her hair was straight. That was insane, though. It couldn't be her.

Envy fished into his pockets and pulled out his cell phone. He slid open the keyboard and typed rapidly: "Hey, r u here in the lecture hall? ~~Envy"

He looked up for a second, and then hit send. There was a moment of suspense, then from across the room he heard a Beethoven's 5th techno remix that could only come from a phone.

The girl flipped her phone open, read the text and looked around the room wildly. Mustang looked at her with distaste, "Sergeant Smith, I know it's your first day at Central, but cell phones are required to be on vibrate during lectures. I'll have to assign you to kitchen duty this afternoon."

"Oh," Roxanne said, flustered, "ok," and closed her phone.

"As I was saying…" and Mustang continued with his boring lecture.

Envy felt bad for Roxanne, this was her first day, and he got her in trouble. He immediately stopped feeling bad for her when L'arc~en~Ciel's "Ready, Steady, Go!" started playing from his pocket. He flipped open his phone and read, "Thanks a lot. See you in kitchen duty!!! =P ~~Roxanne 3"

Mustang approached Envy, "You too, Mr.-um, I don't think I've met you before, what's your name and rank?"

"Um…er…Neil…Vasquez. Yeah, Major Neil Vasquez, but my friends call me N.V. for short," Envy grinned, hoping that this was believable.

"Well, Major Vasquez," Mustang said smoothly, "you will also be on kitchen duty this afternoon with Sergeant Smith,"

"Great," said Envy leaning back in his chair.

"But Envy," said Wrath from behind him, "we're all meeting up in the work-out room for training this afternoon! Lust will kill us if we-"

Mustang was getting aggravated now, "Major Vasquez, your friend will also be spending time with you this afternoon in the kitchens." He stomped back to the podium when, in the front row, another cell phone rang. Mustang gripped the podium and stared at the new offender, who was so low in his chair, you could barely see the blond antenna sticking up on his head.

"Fullmetal!" Mustang snapped, "How long have you been in the military?"

"Eh…around three years," came Ed's voice floating up from the chair.

"And what is the policy of cell phones during a lecture?" He asked in a falsely smooth voice.

"They should be on vibrate," the Fullmetal pipsqueak's voice was smaller than he was.

"Right," said Mustang trying to regain his composure, "Fullmetal, you'll be joining Sergeant Smith, Major Vasquez and his weird little friend in the kitchens."

"But sir! Al, Winry and I-"

"Shut it Fullmetal. Now, back to the lecture…"

_Ring!_

Roy looked up, ready to kill someone, "Who's phone is it now?"

In the very last row, 2nd Lieutenant Breda raised his hand.

In a flash, Breda's cell phone was a smoldering pile of plastic.

Mustang looked at his subordinate, "Breda, you're in the kitchens this afternoon."

"Yes, sir."

Mustang returned to the platform again. "Now, before we run out of time-What is it, Sergeant Smith?"

"Well, sir, the schedule said the lecture ends at 10:30 and it's 10:45 right now."

"Oh, fine. Get lost, all of you."  
The various military people filtered out of the lecture hall. Roxanne made her way to Envy, who stayed in his seat, talking to Wrath.

"Envy, I didn't know you were in the military!" Roxanne called.

"Yeah, well, I didn't know you were either." _Brilliant_, he thought, _really good conversation. Wait, why do I care? _

"Yeah, well I just transferred here from Eastern Command; they said they need more alchemists in Central, with Scar on the loose and everything.

"Wait," Envy asked confused, "you're an alchemist?"  
"Yep," she took a silver pocket watch from her pocket, "the Green-Life Alchemist. I specialize in manipulating plant life."

"Hey, I'm an alchemist too!" Wrath piped up.

"You look awfully young to be a State Alchemist," Roxanne observed.

"Yeah, well…umm," Wrath pondered this.

"Well you're not exactly old yourself," Envy pointed out.

"I'm eighteen."

"Me too, but I'm not an alchemist," Envy said. _Well, actually, I'm more like four-hundred, but whatever. I died when I was eighteen. That counts for something, right?_

"So, do you know how to get around here?" Roxanne asked.

"I do!" Wrath announced.

"Well, can you show me around? I need to find Colonel Mustang's office."

"Hey, me too," said Envy, surprised. Maybe today wouldn't be awful after all.

"Okay," Wrath agreed.

And the odd trio left the lecture hall together.

* * *

Awww, isn't that cute! props to those who got the L'arc~en~Ciel joke!!

Again, any ideas for a Mrs. Darbis are welcome.

Also, check out The Short Story Players, a joint project with my friend Matt on FanFic

Write ya later!

~~B


	3. A Homunculus on the Roof

Hey Everyone! Brigette Janine here with another thrilling installment of the Fullmetal Alchemist Musical!!

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, nor do I have any desire to own HSM. I do, however the few tracks from Within Temptation that I'm listening to as I post this.

R&R because the comments from last chapter were low. What I write depends on what you review. So review, please!!! Thanks, so let's see what Envy's doing.....

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Chapter 3: A Homunculus on the Roof (a very precarious roof, at that)

(Setting: Hallway outside of Col. Mustang's office, Envy is talking to Roxanne, a pink flyer is pinned to the wall)

Envy and Roxanne walked down the hallway Wrath had shown them. "Well, this is it," he said, "I've got to get back to mommy. Bye Envy!"

"Yeah, bye," he replied un enthusiastically.

"So who's that?" Roxanne asked, as they neared the door.

"Oh, that's…um…Wr…Robert, my…cousin," Envy lied.

"And what's the deal with that Mustang guy? He seemed a bit on edge."

"He's always like that. What's this?" He asked indicating the bulletin board bearing a bright pink sheet.

"'Central Musical Auditions'" Roxanne read, "'open to civilians and military staff. This year's performance: A Homunculus on the Roof', I didn't know Central had community theatre," She said, interested.

"Oh, they do some really great musicals," came a voice from inside the office. A young girl walked out, carrying a tool box, "Ed and I are in them every year," she looked at Roxanne, "I don't think I've seen you around here before."

"Oh, I'm new here," she held out her hand, "I'm Roxanne Smith."

"Winry Rockbell," the blond girl shook her hand, then asked, "so are you going to audition? They're a great way to meet people," she looked at Envy, "I haven't met you either."

"Neil Vasquez," said Envy.

"Well, we need more tenors in the show," Winry said, batting her eyelashes.

"Oh, too bad, I'm a baritone," Envy snapped his fingers in mock disappointment.

"Oh," said Winry, not taking the hint, "we need baritones too."

"Yeah, maybe, I have…er…other things to do," Envy started grasping at straws to get this girl off his back.

"Oh, well, I'll see you at auditions, Neil! Toodles!" She spun on her heel and walked past them.

"Well, that was _interesting_," Envy observed, as they walked into the office.

"Yeah," agreed Roxanne.

They walked into the office, and the first thing Envy noticed was the stack of paperwork on the desk at the other end of the office. Suddenly, the stacks of paperwork burst into flame. Roxanne screamed, "Someone get a fire extinguisher! Those papers spontaneously combusted!!"

"It's ok, Sergeant," said a smooth voice from behind the two foot pile of flaming debris, "there wasn't anything important in there." Roy Mustang stepped out from behind the desk.

"Oh, Colonel Mustang," Roxanne was flustered, "I-I'm sorry about this morning's lecture…"

"It's fine, really, I didn't really want to give that lecture anyway," Mustang examined the ashes smoldering on his desk, "so you're under my authority now?"

"Yes, sir," she saluted.

"Relax," he said, holding up a hand, "they must be spreading rumors about me back east, you're tenser than Fullmetal when you call him short."

"Hey!" There was an exclamation from a desk in the corner, "Don't call me small!"

"See?" the Colonel pointed out. He looked at Envy, "I didn't know you were joining my team, Major Vasquez."

"Well, I am," there was an awkward pause, "who wants coffee?" he addressed the office at large.

"Cream and sugar," called Lieutenant Hawkeye, who was polishing a handgun at her desk.

"Cream only," called Breda, reclining on his chair.

"Same here," called Furey, filling out a form of some sort.

"Black," said Mustang.

"Me too," called Ed, not looking up from the tedious report he was writing.

"Cream and sugar?" asked Roxanne.

"Right, two cream and sugar, two cream only, three black," repeated Envy.

"Where's Havoc?" asked Mustang.

"He said something about getting vital information from a florist," said Furey

The Colonel then went off on a tirade on how Havoc should tell him when he's leaving the office to go flirt with a florist, providing Envy the perfect opportunity to slip out of the room to get the coffee.

He had just made the last cup of coffee when he heard a voice behind him, "Hi Envy!"

"Ahh!" Envy jumped and spilled all seven cups of scalding liquid down his front.

"Oh," said Wrath, "I'm sorry. Here, let me fix that." He put his hands on the uniform, and in a flash of blue light, the coffee stains had vanished.

"You're getting pretty good at that," Envy said, suspiciously.

"Dante's teaching me," replied the small homunculus, "she's coming today to watch us train, except we have to work in the kitchens…" He trailed off, "Lust sent me to find you, she said that we need to meet in the training room for some tactical maneuvers."

"Ok, whatever." Envy left the abandoned coffee cups and the two homunculi walked down the flights of stairs leading to the military training rooms.

Envy looked at Wrath, "What do you know about the Central Musical?"

"They're doing A Homunculus on the Roof," he said, "it's one of mommy's favorites."

Envy considered this, "Would you ever try out?"

"Are you kidding me?" Wrath scoffed, "Music is great and all, but that music isn't rock, or rap, or anything essential to culture. It's…show tunes. It's costumes and makeup and…" He shuddered, "It's frightening."

"Yeah," said Envy evasively, "I was just thinking…you know, for a laugh."

"Ok," Wrath looked at Envy. He pushed open the double doors to the large training room. Lust and Greed had pushed the equipment to the sides of the room. Pride, Sloth and Gluttony had joined them.

Lust looked at Envy, "It's about time you got here."

"Well, I wouldn't be late if you had sent the kid earlier."

"Ok," said Pride, "break into pairs, I want all of you to practice the forms we talked about. Sloth with Greed, Lust with Gluttony, Wrath with Envy and I'll work alone."

"Big surprise," muttered Envy.

"What?" asked Pride.

"Nothing, oh-highest-commanding-officer-of-the-military-dogs, sir," said Envy in a low bow.

Pride let that pass, "Right, get into pairs."

Sloth transformed into her watery form, Greed changed into the Ultimate Shield, and Lust extended her lethal fingers to dagger-sharp points.

Wrath transmuted the floor into an army of State Alchemists in blue robes.

The steady beat of methodically worked footsteps created a catchy beat. Pride called out directions, "Now Lust, fake right, stab left, watch out for Armstrong, keep your eye on Mustang. Gotta run off to Greed, give and go, and don't be afraid to get the outside ranks. Get'cha head in the game. Just keep your head in the game. Don't be afraid of the outside ranks. Just keep your head in the game."

The other homunculi joined in, "You've gotta Get'cha get'cha head in the game We gotta Get our, get our, get our, get our head in the game. You've gotta Get'cha get'cha head in the game We gotta Get our, get our, get our, get our head in the game. You've gotta Get'cha get'cha head in the game We gotta Get our, get our, get our, get our head in the game."

Envy stepped in, smashing heads off the fake alchemists in rapid succession, "Let's make sure that we get them all down. Wait a minute and the city will go wild. No second chance, we gotta grab and go, maybe this time we'll hit the right notes…nose."

Everyone looked at him strangely, "Whatever," he said. He spoke to himself, "Wait a minute, It's not the time or place. Wait a minute, Get my head in the game. Wait a minute, Get my head in the game. Wait a minute, Wait a minute. I gotta get my, get my head in the game."

The others joined in again, "You've gotta Get'cha get'cha head in the game. We gotta Get our, get our, get our, get our head in the game. You've gotta Get'cha get'cha head in the game. We gotta Get our, get our, get our, get our head in the game. You've gotta Get'cha get'cha head in the game. We gotta Get our, get our, get our, get our head in the game."

Everyone seemed to freeze, Envy took this moment for a well placed soliloquy, "Why am I feeling so wrong? My head's in the game, but my heart's in the song. It makes me feel so right." He paused, "Should I go for it? Better shake this, yikes!"

The others began to move again, as Envy crushed another fake alchemist, "I gotta  
get my, get my head in the game. You gotta Get'cha, get'cha, get'cha, get'cha head in the game. I gotta get my, get my head in the game. You gotta Get'cha, get'cha, get'cha, get'cha head in the game. I gotta get my, get my head in the game. You gotta Get'cha, get'cha, get'cha, get'cha head in the game. I gotta get my, get my head in the game. You gotta Get'cha, get'cha, get'cha, get'cha head in the game."

Wrath smashed the last alchemist with alchemy, thus destroying the last statue. "Woohoo!" He shouted his hand pumped the air.

"Good job, everybody," Pride called, "same place at the end of the day."

"What team?" Wrath shouted.

"Homunculi!" Called back Greed, high-fiving the child.

"What team?"

"Homunculi!" Wrath and Greed were the only ones doing this call-and-repeat, the rest of them staring on, concerned.

"Homunculi!" Shouted Wrath.

"Get'cha head in the game!" Greed finished.

"When did you guys come up with that?" asked Lust.

"Last week," replied Wrath glibly, "we've been waiting for a chance to use it." He high-fived the taller homunculus again.

"Whatever," she replied, and the others left behind her, leaving Envy alone with the rubble of the defeated "alchemists".

"I've gotta get my head in the game," he muttered to himself as he kicked the rubble and walked out of the training room, the steel door slamming hollowly behind him.

* * *

Aww, conflict!!!!!!

A special shout-out to Shiloh Asha: Yes, Wrath made up the Homunculus call all by himself, and we're all proud of you.

So R&R because I love to hear from readers!!! 3

~~B


	4. Punishment

Hey everyone!!! I was being really productive, so I managed to turn out another chapter!!!! Yay Saturdays where I have nothing to do!!!

Warning: There are a lot of Fiddler on the Roof allusions, so if you don't get something, ask or look it up.

Disclaimer: After three chapters, you should know I don't own FMA or HSM

A/N: I have a lot of line breaks for scene changes in this chapter. Sorry if it gets confusing.

* * *

Chapter 4: Punishment

(Setting: Mustang's office. Roy is explaining a really confusing array to Ed, who doesn't care, because he doesn't use arrays _anyway_. Roxanne is doodling absently in a notebook and Winry is watching Roxanne)

"So," said the girl named Winry, leaning over Roxanne's shoulder, "What do you know about that Neil guy?"

"Oh," said Roxanne looking up, "not much, we just met." She looked over at Mustang who had drawn an array on a whiteboard and was gesticulating furiously at the blond alchemist. "There should be five lines in that array," she said quietly.

"What?" asked Winry.

"There should be five lines in that array, not four. The one Mustang has up there would just turn water cold, not into ice," she turned in her chair, "Um, Colonel Mustang, shouldn't there be five lines in that array?"

"With all due respect, Sergeant Smith," Mustang said, kicking Ed in the right shin because he had fallen asleep, "I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing." He looked at the board again, "Oh, you're right," he redrew the array, "thanks, Roxanne. I don't think I've actually welcomed you to Central yet. So welcome." He turned back to the Fullmetal alchemist, and proceeded to smack him upside the head.

"What?!" He yelled.

Winry looked at Roxanne, shocked.

"Pay attention!" shouted Mustang.

"What? So I can do this?" He clapped his hands and turned a glass of water to ice.

"Oh, right. Well," he turned, looking for a distraction, "Winry, why don't you give Ed's leg a tune-up? He's looking shorter than usual, I think he's lopsided."

"Ok," said Winry, taking out a wrench, "Ed, get over here."

"But my leg is fine."

Winry threw the wrench at his head. "Now!"

"Fine," Ed grumbled, rubbing his head. He put his leg up on a chair and rolled his pant leg up, revealing the silver automail underneath. Roxanne looked at the leg for a moment, curious, then looked up, "Has anyone seen Envy?"

"Not since he left to get coffee," replied Mustang, eying a fresh stack of paperwork maliciously.

"That was half an hour ago."

"You're right," he said, not really paying attention. He circled the stack of paper, trying to find the best angle to light it up from.

"I'm going to find him."

"You do that," a single white glove waved from behind the desk.

Winry bent down and started tightening some screws as Roxanne left.

Ed whispered to his mechanic, "She's been looking at out flier."

"Again?" She asked suspiciously, "You know, she was looking at it with that new guy too," she thought, "You know, there's something strange about her. Where did she say she was from?"

Ed shrugged. Winry tightened a last bolt and walked to Roxanne's desk and started sifting through files.

"Are you sure you're allowed to do that?" Ed asked as the stack of paper behind him went up in flames.

"Of course," Winry waved him off. She picked up a manila folder, "Aha." She flipped through it. "It says she was a Colonel back east before she came here, but took a demotion so she could work under Colonel Mustang. It also says that she was given the promotion from Lieutenant to Colonel for 'special achievements in the field of alchemy'"

"A Flamel-ette," observed Ed, "so why is she interested in our musical?"

"I don't know," Winry said, taking out the paper, "but I'm going to make sure that she gets involved in things that are…appropriate for her standards."

She strutted out of the office, her ponytail flying out behind her. Ed ran after her.

(The kitchens. Envy and Wrath are still sweating a bit from practice; Ed and Roxanne are talking; Breda is mourning over his lost cell phone.)

Envy, Wrath, Roxanne, Ed and Breda reported to the kitchens for their punishment to find Mustang and a tall man long blond hair pulled back in a ponytail and wearing a long coat waiting for them.

"Your punishments have been reassigned," said Mustang, "you'll be working across the street building sets for the upcoming musical with Mr. Hohenheim." He gestured to the blond man.

"Hohenheim?!" Shouted Envy, "Why the hell is he here? Let me kill him." He jumped toward him but was held back by Ed.

"No, you can't," he said, alarmed.

"Why," Envy drawled, "because he's your _dad_?"

"No," said Mustang calmly, "it's because in this parody, the reality that exists in the anime and manga doesn't exist and if you kill Hohenheim, there will be no plot." There was a shattering of glass behind him.

"What was that?" asked Envy

"That was the fourth wall that Mustang just shattered into about a million pieces, supplied Ed.

"Oh, ok" Envy shrugged.

A crew of janitors armed with duct tape ran to the theoretical fourth wall and started piecing it back together. "This is the fourth time he did it this week." One of them muttered.

(In the theatre across from the street. Envy is perched in a fake tree, gluing leaves; Wrath is using Alchemy to paint the outside; Roxanne is painting a pair of candle sticks; Breda and Ed are setting up a zipline across the stage.)

Roxanne put down one candlestick and started on the second coat of the other when a huge man in military robes came running up to her and gave her a bone-crushing hug.

"The answer is yes!" Armstrong shouted.

"Wh-what?" asked Roxanne dazed, trying to get her oxygen level back t normal.

"Our Alchemy Decathlon Team meets everyday at five. Our first competition is in two weeks and we need someone who is an expert in organic alchemy." Armstrong was so excited that he was…sparkling.

"Where did those come from?" she asked pointing to the papers in his hand.

"Didn't you leave them on my desk?" He asked, confused.

"Of course not." She said suspiciously. Ed fell off a ladder, but nobody noticed.

"Oh," sighed the towering alchemist, looking sad, "we could really use your help, we've lost to Northern Command every year. Please?"  
"I don't know," said Roxanne reluctantly, "I need to catch up on paperwork here and-"

"Just do what Mustang does," said Ed, who had untangled himself from the ladder. "And besides, joining the Decathlon team is a great way to meet people."

Roxanne was about to reply, but Hohenheim took the opportunity to interrupt, "I'd just like to remind you all that the annual musical will be holding auditions tomorrow from ten to one. We'll be doing a classic, 'A Homunculus on the Roof', about a family of alchemists with five daughters. The three oldest daughters marry very untraditional husbands and the middle child even goes so far to marry a homunculus." He sighed, "Ah, yes, Homunculus has given us such great songs like 'Transmutation', 'Array-maker' and 'To Alchemy'."

Envy sighed. It was going to be a long afternoon.

(The training room. All the homunculi are gathered with Dante. Envy and Wrath are conspicuously absent.)

"Alright everyone," Dante called. The homunculi gathered around her. "I just want to say-" she looked around, "where's Wrath and Envy?"

The others looked around guiltily.

"I don't want to say it again," she threatened, "where's Wrath and Envy?"

"They're with Hohenheim," they muttered.

Dante gritted her teeth and stalked out of the room, followed by Pride.

(The theatre. Wrath has fallen asleep inside the fake tree, Envy is tickling his nose with a leaf. Hohenheim is basically reiterating the play, and no one is really paying attention.)

"-And then," said Hohenheim with passion in his eyes, "he sings my all-time favorite song from the musical: 'If I Were Immortal'. I'll sing a bit." He put his hands over his head and started dancing, "If I were immortal, deedle deedle diadle deedle deedle digga digga dum. All day long I'd-"

"Hohenheim!" Shouted Dante from across the room, "Where's my team?" She stopped and pointed at Envy and Wrath in the prop, "What are they doing in a tree?"

"It's called crime and punishment, Dante," said the director calmly, "besides, proximity to the arts is cleansing for the soul."

"They don't have souls," muttered Dante through gritted teeth. "Can we talk? Now. And you two," she pointed at Wrath and Envy, "in the training room, now."

Envy jumped off the tree, executed a perfect triple-back flip and stuck the landing. He grabbed Wrath and dragged him out of the theatre.

Wrath struggled against his strong grip, "But 'The Dream' is next. I want to see the homunculus that hasn't been fed red stones yet go flying across the zipline!"

Roxanne peered after them, confused.

Dante and Hohenheim walked back across the street to the Fuhrer's office, where Pride was waiting for them.

"If they need to paint sets for punishment, they can do it tonight," said Dante, "not during our practice."

"If they were alchemists instead of homunculi, would you seek special treatment?" rebutted Hohenheim.

"Hohenheim," snarled Dante, "we are days away from our hostile takeover of Central.

"And we, Dante, are in the midst of auditions for our musical. This city is about more than who controls the army and the government."

"Military," snarled Dante, "we'll control the military."

"Stop, listen," said Pride, leaning forward, rubbing his head, "you've been having this ame argument for almost four hundred years. We are one country, one city, one military. Can we agree on that?" He leaned back in his chair, "So Dante, how are we doing? Are you going to whip them into shape today?"

Hohenheim just shook his head.

(The training room. Wrath and Envy are finally present.)

Dante gathered the homunculi around her, "Ok, the State Alchemists have beaten us for the last three years. Now, we are one confrontation away from ruling the Military once and for all! It's time to make our stand. If any one of you screws this up, I will melt you down into a Philosopher's Stone, use it to create a homunculus that looks just like you, and kill it."

Wrath raised his hand, "But homunculi only melt down in the manga, and I don't exist in the manga."

There was another crash of broken glass. "Not again," cried the janitor.

"What was that?" asked Dante.

"The fourth wall," replied Envy.

"Whatever."

"Let's do this!" Shouted Wrath, "What team?"  
"Homunculi!" Shouted Greed, still the only one participating in the call and respond

"What team?"

"Homunculi!"

"Homunculi!"

"Get'cha head in the game!"

"That was weird," observed Dante.

"Tell me about it," said Envy.

* * *

(A courtyard at Central Command. Roxanne is talking to Hawkeye, there are some fangirls jabbering in a corner.)

"Yeah," said Hawkeye, "The Alchemic Decathlon team hasn't won in years. Armstrong was hysterical when he saw your papers."

"I'm still not sure," said Roxanne, I want to get everything straightened out before I join any teams," She stopped and looked at the blond Lieutenant, "What do you know about Colonel Mustang?"

Riza smiled, "Roy," she said, "I consider myself an expert in that particular sub-species. Except," she eyed the fangirls, "unless you speak fangirl-ese, I'll need to translate." She walked over to a bunch of teenage girls clutching various mangas, plushies and other assorted sundry items. "Oh. My. God." She said, flipping her hair, "Isn't Roy Mustang just a hottie super-bomb?"

The girls erupted in an ear-splitting squeal and quickly started shouting lines from the anime and singing what sounded like "Loyal canines how we salute thee"

Riza dragged Roxanne through the frothing mob and turned to her, pinning up her hair, "See what I mean?"

"I guess I don't speak fangirl-ese."

"This is why we exist in an alternate universe from them."

"What about Envy?"

"He usually hangs out with the Fuhrer, his secretary, that guy with the glasses, the short round one that eats everything, the scary girl with black hair and the strange little child." Roxanne looked confused, "you'll see when you sit with us at lunch tomorrow; unless you want to sit with the fangirls and talk about how many different yaois you can come up with."

"Yaois frighten me."

"Me too."

* * *

(The homunculi's house. Envy is training with Dante in a room similar to a karate studio, on of the walls is paneled with mirrors.)

Dante looked at Envy, "I still don't get the whole punishment thing, you're supposed to lie low."

"I'm sorry," he said, rolling his eyes, "it was my fault."

"Yeah," she said. "Go across the room with a triple somersault and a cartwheel." Envy executed the gymnastic movement perfectly. "You know that Hohenheim will take any chance to bust my chops." She said, walking over to the homunculus.

"I know." Envy thought for a moment, "Did you ever think of doing something different, that you're not sure what the others will think?"

"Like a quadruple back-hand spring into an aerial twist?" She asked, "Go for it."

Envy started to go into the hand-spring then stopped, standing on his head, "No like something really new and it turns into a disaster and everybody thinks you're stupid."

"Then you made a stupid mistake. That was my point today, you can't mess up, we have to do this perfectly, otherwise it's the end for us."

"Right," he said, and completed the rest of the move.

"That's enough for tonight," said Dante, "get some sleep." She walked out of the room.

Envy looked in the mirror. "Look," he said to himself, "you're a _homunculus_; you don't belong in the theatre." Then he thought of how good it felt on New Year's Eve, singing in front of all those people; the adrenaline rushing, the sound of the cheering audience… "No," he said, gripping the wall. But even though his voice said no, his violet eyes said yes.

~~BJ

* * *

Awwww, Poor Envy, so confused.

Yay Fiddler on the Roof!!!! Hope you liked it!! If you did, I'm Brigette Janine and you can comment below. If you didn't like it, my name is Stephanie Meyer and you can send me hate mail.

=D Write ya later!!!


	5. Auditions

Hey everyone, Brigette Janine here wiht another installment of the Fullmetal Alcemist Musical. I've been holding off posting for a while, because I wanted more feedback. I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE! so review, please. Because reviews make me happy

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Chapter 5: Auditions

(Setting: Hallway at Central. Wrath is jabbering to Envy, who seems disconnected.)

"-And then, a giant marshmallow just came up and _ate me_," the young homunculus finished dramatically. He looked up at Envy, "Were you even paying attention?"

"Hmm? Oh, no, not really," he looked at his wrist and realized that he wasn't wearing a watch, "what time is it?"

Wrath checked his alchemist's pocket watch, "Nine-thirty. Oh, and Lust said that she wanted to get some training done at twelve,"

"Oh, I can't…I…have paperwork that I need to get done, you know, responsibility."

"But you're not responsible at all," said Wrath.

Envy let that slide, "Gotta go, bye!" and he slipped into the crowd.

Wrath, who, being twelve was naturally curious, tried to follow Envy. Unfortunately for Wrath, Envy was very good at getting lost in a crowd.

Envy slipped into an empty room and changed out of his military robes and into something more comfortable, a black t-shirt and jeans. Not quite like the tank top and skort he usually wore, but good enough. He slipped out of the building and made his way across the street, stopping periodically to make sure no one had followed him. Finally, he made it into the theatre and sat down in the back row.

Just then, Hohenheim burst through he doors, followed by Ed, Winry, Havoc, Furey, Falman, Kimblee, Lieutenant Ross, Marta, Dorochet and Scar.

Hohenheim walked onto the stage, followed by Sciezka. He clapped his hands for attention. "The theatre," he said wistfully, "this is where the true expression of the artist is realized, where inner truth is revealed through the actor's journey, where-" Dorochet coughed in boredom. Hohenheim shot him a look, "Those whishing to audition must understand the time is of the essence. We have many roles to cast and final callbacks are next week. First you will sing a few bars, and I will give you a sense if the theatre is your calling or not. It's better to hear it from me now, than from your friends later. Our composer, Sciezka, will accompany you and be available for rehearsals prior to callbacks." Sciezka took her place at a piano similar to the one the homunculi had before Gluttony had eaten it.

Hohenheim sat down in the front row, "Shall we?"

The auditions were a disaster. Havoc was up first. "It's hard to believe, that I couldn't see, that you were always right besides me. This feeling's like no other, I want you to know…" He was horribly off key, then forgot the words.

"Yes," said Hohenheim, "thank you."

Next was Falman, who stared down at an index card, unaware of the music he was supposed to be following, "It's hard to believe, that I couldn't sneeze…-see. That you were always right next to beside me," he looked up for a moment, then back at the card, "this feeling's like no other…"

"Vato," called Hohenheim, "I admire your-as to your singing yes, well that…those are very nice shoes. Next!"  
Furey was flat. Very flat. But at least he had some emotion.

Who know that Lieutenant Ross was a soprano 1? She sang so high, dolphins had headaches. When she was done, Hohenheim uncovered his ears, "Yes, Maria, how…brave of you to pursue a note that has not been accessed in the natural world. Bravo-brava, perhaps the spring musical?"

Ross stomped offstage, offended.

Before Hohenheim could say anything, Kimblee ran onstage in a leotard and performed a series of very graceful leaps and pirouettes. Envy shut his eyes, scarred for life, Hohenheim was amazed and Ed looked disturbed. It was all going well for KInblee until he ran offstage and into a ladder, paint bucket and set piece, which all came crashing down on him.

Marta and Dorochet were next. They were dressed in all black and performed a very…interesting interpretive dance.

"It's hard to believe," said Marta.

"Believe," echoed Dorochet hollowly.

"That I could not see," she covered her eyes.

"Could not see"

"That you were right beside me,"

"Right beside me." They waved their arms back and forth

"Thought I was alone,"

"Alone,"

"With no one to hold," she grabbed herself around the waist

"To hold,"

"But you were there beside me." They waved their arms again, then they rolled on the floor.

Hohenheim was deeply concerned, "That was very…very disturbing. Go see a counselor.

Roxanne appeared next to Envy in the back row. "Hey,"

"Hey," he said, "did you sign up?"

"No, did you?"

"No," he looked over, "so he seems…harsh."

"Are you afraid?" she asked.

"No," he said, "just, scared."

"Me too." They looked up to the stage where Scar was standing still while the music played.

"Yes, thank you," said Hohenheim.

"Praise to Ishvala," he said, and walked off.

Roxanne and Envy looked at each other. "Was that-?" she asked

"Never mind."

"And for the lead roles of Minnie and Arnold, we only have one couple signed up, Edward and Winry, why don't you show us why we are gathered in this hallowed hall of thespianism."

The two stood up, Edward made to go first, but Winry threw a wrench at him and went in front. As they crossed the stage, Sciezka asked, "What key?"

"Oh, we had our rehearsal pianist to an arrangement," replied Ed.

"Oh," she said, sitting back down.

The curtain closed in front of the two as they were handed separate microphones as they warmed up. They turned, their hands showing between the two curtains. The music started much faster than what Sciezka has played. The disembodied hands snapped to the beat, then the curtain opened.

Ed started, "It's hard to believe, that I couldn't see,"

Winry joined in, "You were always there beside me. Thought I was alone, with no one to hold, But you were always right beside me. This feelings like no other, I want you to know: I've never had someone that knows me like you do, the way you do. I've never had someone as good for me as you, no one like you. So lonely before I've finally found what I've been looking for."

Winry did a tap dance around her partner, then sang, "So good to be seen, so good to be heard."  
They sang together, "Don't have to say a word!"

Then Ed sang alone, "For so long I was lost, so good to be found."

Winry leaned on his shoulder, "I'm loving having you around."  
Ed struck a pose, "This feeling's like no other."

They started dancing together, "I want you to know, I've never had someone that knows me like you do, the way you do. I've never had someone as good for me as you, no one like you. So lonely before, I finally found what I've been looking for," They started skipping, "Doo Doo DooDoo, Doo Doo DooDoo, Do Do Woa-ah-ah-oh." The song finished.

Winry hissed to Ed, "I told you not to do the jazz square."

He whispered back to her, "It's a crowd favorite, everyone loves a good jazz square."

Envy stared agape at the stage and almost vomited from the show tunes-ey cuteness. Where was the video camera when you needed it? He could have just blackmailed Ed for life.

Hohenheim was almost moved to tears, "Bravo, bravo! Are there any last minute sign ups?"

Envy and Roxanne began to sneak out of the theatre.

Ed called to people, "Don't be discouraged, the theatre needs more than actors, it needs fans too. Buy tickets," he called.

"Actually," said Sciezka to Winry, "If you do the part, I was thinking of the song being much slower, and-"

"'_If _we do the part'?" Winry asked, "Sciezka, my sawed-off Sondheim, I've been in twelve productions, and how many times have your compositions been selected?"

"This would be the first."

"Which tell us what?"

"That I need to write you more solos?" she guessed.

"No. It tells us that you do not offer direction, suggestion or commentary. And you should be thankful that me and Ed are here to lift your music out of its current obscurity. Are we clear?"

"Yes ma'am-Winry."

"Hmm," she said, smiling, "nice talking to you."

"Any last-minute sign ups?" called Hohenheim.

"We should go," said Envy to Roxanne, but she stayed.

"No?" asked Hohenheim, "Good, done." He turned to leave.

Roxanne burst out from behind the door she and Envy were hiding behind, "I'd like to audition, Mr. Hohenheim."

Envy smacked his face.

Hohenheim turned to her, "Time means something in the theatre, Miss Smith. The time for individual auditions is long gone, and there are simply no other pairs." He turned to leave again.

Envy jumped out, "I'll sing with her."

"Envy," he said, bemusedly, "where are the rest of your gang and Dante?"

"Actually, I'm here alone," the homunculus replied, "I'm here to sing with her," he gestured to Roxanne.

"Yes, well. We take these shows very seriously. I called for the pairs audition and you didn't respond. The auditions are over." He walked away.

"She's got a great voice," Envy called after him, but it was too late.

Sciezka was gathering her papers at the piano. She got up to leave and tripped, scattering papers everywhere. Envy and Roxanne ran over to help her. "So," Envy said, gathering papers, "you're a composer." Sciezka nodded. "You wrote the song Ed and Winry just sang?" She nodded again. "And the entire play?" Was she a mute? "That's pretty cool." He handed her the papers. "I can't wait to hear the rest of the show." She smiled a bit. "So why are you afraid of Ed and Winry? It's your show, isn't it?"

"It is?" she seemed confused.

"Yeah. You're the one who holds the show together. Without you, there is no show."

"You're right," she said, her confidence coming back, "do you want to hear how the duet's supposed to sound?"

"Sure."

She sat down at the piano and extricated a piece of sheet music. She played the intro much slower than what they had just heard.

Envy started, "It's hard to believe, that I couldn't see that you were always there beside me,"

Roxanne sang, "Thought I was alone, with no one to hold, But you were always right beside me."

They sang together, the rhythm smoother and slower than the song Ed and Winry sang. "This feelings like no other, I want you to know: I've never had someone that knows me like you do, the way you do. I've never had someone as good for me as you, no one like you. So lonely before I've finally found what I've been looking for."

They looked at each other. Hohenheim appeared from behind the same door they had hidden behind five minutes ago. He called to them, "Envy, Roxanne, you have a callback. Sciezka, give them the duet from the second act. Work on it with them."

Scizka turned to the two of them handing out packets of sheet music with little dots signifying notes on them, "If you guys want to rehearse, I'm usually here in the morning and the afternoon, and sometimes when Lieutenant Colonel Hughes gives me too much paperwork, you can come anytime. Or you can come to my house for breakfast, I'll make pancakes. I have a piano and we can rehearse there, anytime.

Envy looked at the paper, shocked. He had a callback.

~~BJ

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Well, what do you think? If I get less than five reviews, I will refuse to post another chapter. So pleasepleaseplease review!!!

As an extra incentive, the next chapter is "Stick to the Status Quo." You know you want to see it.

Five reviews. That's all I'm asking.

I mean it. =)


	6. Callbacks and their Consequences

Hey everyone!! I guess four reviews is good enough. I'm being pestered by my sister to post, so I am. The Scar segment of this chapter is dedicated to Shiloh Asha, who claims Scar as her own and really needs her own FanFic account.

Discalimer: I own two L'Arc~en~Ciel songs, but not FMA or HSM.

...Now let's see what Envy's up to....

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Chapter 6: Callbacks and Their Consequences

(Setting: A café in Central. Various people are on lunch break including Homunculi, military people and a group of shady people wearing dark glasses in the corner. Hohenheim walks in, posts a flier on the bulletin board and leaves.)

Wrath looked up at Lust, "Was that Hohenheim?"

"Don't break the fourth wall again," said Lust.

Winry and Ed walked into the café. Winry noticed the new flier and read it. Her eyes got to the second line and she screamed. The homunculi and military people turned to look at her. The sketchy people in the corner sipped their coffee undisturbed by this interruption.

"What is it?" asked Ed.

"They got a callback."

"Who?"

"Envy and Roxanne! They didn't even audition."

"Maybe we're being Punk'd," mused Ed.

"What?"  
"What if, right now, they're filming us? What if we get to meet Ashton?"

Winry threw a wrench at him. Wrath stepped over his prone form and looked at the paper. "What's going on?" He read the paper, then got angry, "So that's where her was."

Soon the café was buzzing with the news that Envy had gotten a callback for the musical.

Winry was beside herself with rage, "How dare they get callbcaks! I've already chosen the colors for my dressing room."

"And I'm pretty sure they don't have nearly as many equity hours as we do," added Ed.

Winry slammed her fist on the table, "Someone's gotta tell them the rules," she glared.

"Exactly!" said Ed, "umm….what are the rules again?"

Greed paced back and forth. He turned to the rest of his table, "You can bet there's nothing but death when I am in the zone and on a roll. But I've got a confession, my own secret obsession and it's making me lose control."

The other homunculi called to the rest of the café, "Everybody gather round."

Greed sighed and pushed up his glasses, "Alright, if Envy can tell his secret, I can tell mine. I bake."

"What?" asked Wrath incredulously.

"I love to bake. Strudels, scones, even apple tarts."

"Not another sound!" cried the homunculi.

"Someday, I hope to make the perfect Crème Brulee," he said.

"No, no, no." said the homunculi. "Stick to the stuff you know" they all pointed to their respective tattoos of the ouroboros, Wrath fell over. "If you wanna be cool, follow one simple rule. Don't mess with the flow, no, no. Stick to the status quo!"

Hawkeye looked up from her latte to her fellow comrades. "Look at me, and what do you see? Loyalty beyond compare. But inside me is stirring, something strange is occurring, it's a secret I need to share."

The other military personnel looked up, "Open up, dig way down deep."

Riza sighed, "Ballet is my passion. I love to grand jette, pirouette, plie…"

Furey looked up at her, "Is that even legal?"

The other soldiers stood up, "Not another peep!"

She sat down, "It's only dancing, sometimes I think it's even cooler that paperwork."

"No, no, no." said the soldiers. "Stick to the stuff you know" they all plucked the front of their uniforms. "If you wanna be cool, follow one simple rule. Don't mess with the flow, no, no. Stick to the status quo!"

One of the shady people in the corner looked up and took off his glasses, revealing red eyes and a large X-shaped scar on his face. He stood up, "Listen well; I'm ready to tell about a need that I cannot deny. There is no explanation for this awesome sensation, and I'm ready to let it fly."

The other Ishvalans gathered around him, also taking off their glasses, "Speak your mind and you'll be heard."

"Ok," he said, "If Envy can be a singer, then I'm coming clean. I play the cello!"

"Awesome!" shouted another Ishvalan, "What is it?"

Scar mimed playing a cello, but the other Ishvalan didn't get it, "A saw to kill alchemists with?"

Scar slapped his forehead, "No, it's like a giant violin."

The Ishvalans stood up, "Not another word."

"Do you have to wear a costume?"

"Coat and tie," replied Scar.

"No, no, no." cried the Ishvalans. "Stick to the stuff you know" they all pointed to his tattooed arm. "If you wanna be cool, follow one simple rule. Don't mess with the flow, no, no. Stick to the status quo!"

By now, everyone was singing, "No, no, no. Stick to the stuff you know. It is better by far to keep things as they are. Don't mess with the flow, no, no. Stick to the status quo!"

Winry watched this all, confused, "This is not what I want. This is not what I planned. And I've just gotta say, I do not understand. Something is really-"

Ed jumped in, "Something's not right!"

Winry threw another wrench at him, "-really wrong. And we've got to get things back where they belong. We can do it!"

Scar stood up, "Gotta play!"

The other Ishvalans hissed, "Keep your voice down low."

"We can do it," shouted Ed and Winry.

"Ballet hooray," called Hawkeye.

"She has got to go," whispered the other soldiers.

"We can do it!"

"Crème Brulee!" called Greed, holding the small custard in his hand.

"No one else can know," sighed the homunculi, heads in their hands.

"Not another peep," said the café at large.

"No!" said Greed, Hawkeye and Scar.

"Not another word,"

"No!"

"Not another sound,"

"No!"

"Everybody quiet!" shouted Winry.

Roxanne walked in, carrying her coffee. She looked at Furey, "Why are they all staring at you?" she asked.

"Not at me, you," he said.

"Oh, I can't have people looking at me. I really can't."

All chaos broke loose. People were dancing on tables, Scar broke out his cello and Hawkeye was dancing a bit from the Nutcracker. Winry spotted Roxanne and stalked toward her. Everyone was singing, "No, no, no. Stick to the stuff you know. If you wanna be cool, follow one simple rule. Don't mess with the flow, no, no. Stick to the status quo! No, no, no, no! No, no, no. Stick to the stuff you know. It is better by far to keep things as they are. Don't mess with the flow, no, no. Stick to the status quo!"

Roxanne wasn't looking where she was going and tripped, spilling hot coffee down Winry's shirt. She looked at the coffee spreading across her shirt and screamed.

"Oh my gosh," cried Roxanne, "I'm so sorry, here let me fix that." Hawkeye dragged her away from Winry, who was about to rip out Roxanne's hair.

Just then, Envy walked into the café. Wrath grabbed his wrist and pulled him back, "You do not want to go in there. Too much drama."

Hohenheim walked out, "What is going on in here?"

Winry pointed at her shirt, "Look at this. That Roxanne girl just dumped her coffee on me. On purpose. It's all part of their plan to ruin the musical. And Envy and those other freaky people are behind it. Why do you think they auditioned?" She gasped dramatically, "After all the hard work you put into the show, it just doesn't seem right." She stormed away, followed closely by Ed.

Envy turned to Wrath, "What was that all about?"

"What was that about?" the child homunculus asked, outraged, "Well, let's think. You missed a training session yesterday to audition for some heinous musical, and now everybody's 'confessing'," he made air quotes and reached out and grabbed Greed by the collar, "Yeah. And Greed is baking. Crème brulee."

"Oh, what's that?" asked Envy, interested.

"It's a creamy custard with caramelized sugar, it's really satisfying." Replied Greed.

"Shut. Up. Greed." hissed Wrath.

Envy sat down on a table and Wrath confronted him, "Our team is falling apart because of your singing thing. Even the soldiers and alchemists think they can talk to us. Look," he pointed at Scar and a few Ishvalans talking to Greed, Hawkeye and Furey, apparently interested in Greed's crème brulee, "the Ishvalans are mingling. Suddenly people think they can do other stuff. Stuff that's not their stuff. You're thinking about show tunes when we have a hostile takeover to think about."

He stood up and left. Envy stared down into his coffee, contemplating what just happened.

(Dante's office. How she got an office, I don't know, but she has her own private office. Hohenheim storms in.)

Hohenheim slammed his hand on Dante's desk, "Alright, Dante, cards on the table right now."

Dante looked up from the popcorn-romance novel she was reading, "Huh?"

"You're tweaked that I had your homunculi painting sets, and now you're getting even."

"What are you talking about, Hohenheim?"  
"Envy turned up at my audition. I give everyone an equal chance to audition; a long and honored tradition in the theatre, something you wouldn't understand. But if he tries any sort of practical joke in my chapel of the arts-"

"Envy doesn't even sing," interjected Dante.

"Well, you're wrong about that. But I will not allow my tinsel-town musical to be made into farce."

"Tinsel-town?"

"See!" he deplored, "I knew it! I knew it!" He turned on his heel and strode out of the office.

Dante sat facing the door, "Tinsel-town?"

* * *

Dear Reader,

If you bother reading this, I would really, sincerely appreciate any sort of review whatsoever. It could just be, "Hi, I read this chapter. I thought it was (insert adjective here)..."

Reviews are better than Turkish coffee, and that's saying something. (Well, maybe not better, but definitely on par)

Your loving author who provides your mundane lives with laughs,

~~Brigette Janine


	7. Practice, practice, practice

Happy New Year everyone!!!

So here is our newest chapter of the lovely Fullmetal Alchemist Musical. I would like to apologize for any OOCness, and will try to correct that in future chapters. Thanks to ArIN for pointin that out.

Disclaimer: If you're reading chapter 7, you should know by now that I don't own FMA and have no need want or desire to own HSM.

And the story continues....

* * *

Chapter 7: Practice, practice, practice

(Setting: Mustang's office. Roxanne is talking to Hawkeye about the day's events.)

"So is Winry really mad at me?" Roxanne asked, "I said I was sorry."

"No one has beaten Winry out for musical since she came to Central." Riza said.

"I wasn't trying to beat anyone out," she sighed, "we didn't even audition, we were just singing."

"You won't convince Winry of that." Riza pointed out, "If she could find a way to play Romeo and Juliet, Ed would be out of a job."

"I told you, it just _happened_, but I liked it, a lot." She looked at the lieutenant, "Did you ever feel like there was this whole other person inside of you just waiting to get out?"

Hawkeye thought for a moment, "No. Not really." She looked at Roxanne's stunned face and smiled jokingly.

(Now for a brief comic interlude. Random fruit stand in Central. Winry is still in a huff about callbacks, Greed approaches her.) [A/N: I do not condone a Winry/Greed relationship at all. That's just creepy.]

"Hey," said the homunculus, "I just thought that since Envy is in the your show-"

Winry threw a wrench at him, but he caught it and handed it back to her, "Envy is not in my show," she muttered, taking back the wrench.

"Ok, well, maybe you might want to come and get a drink with me and talk about how much we both hate Envy," he suggested.

"I'd rather have an automail arm attached to my face," she said.

"But wouldn't that be really uncomfortable?" asked Greed, not taking the hint.

"Evaporate, tall person with weird glasses!" She shooed him off and left the fruit stand.

"I bake," he called, "Yeah," he said to himself, "like that's going to help."

(Back at Mustang's office.)

Furey placed a stack of paperwork on Roxanne's desk. She hadn't thought that being a subordinate meant this much paperwork. She took the top sheet off the stack and a small piece of folded paper fluttered to the ground. Roxanne picked it up and unfolded it. In neat, angular writing, she read: "Hey, meet me on the roof of the florist shop". There was no signature, but she knew who it was from.

She quickly stood up and left the office without another word.

(Roof of a nearby flower shop. There are various potted plants, flowers and ficuses. Envy is leaning against a railing, looking at the city. Roxanne comes in through a trapdoor.)

Roxanne closed the trapdoor with a small _thunk_ and Envy turned around, stirred out of his thoughts. She looked around, taking in the flora around her. "Wow. It's like a jungle up here."

"Yeah," Envy smiled, "kind of like that café."

"Well," she continued, "I think I just humiliated myself into the next century."

"No," he said drily, "maybe the next decade or two, but not the next _century_."

Roxanne laughed and looked around, "So this is your private hideout?"  
"Yeah, I built it when I was supposed to be following someone, so the others have no idea about it."

"You have the entire city wired, don't you?" she asked.

"Pretty much," he shrugged, "I don't know what Dante will do to me when she finds out about the musical."

"Are you worried?"  
"I have a reputation in my group. I'm supposed to be the toughest, most ruthless one. I'm getting enough crap from Wrath already. I shudder to think of what Lust and Dante will do to me. I'm supposed to be the hardcore guy. Sometimes I don't want to be that ruthless hardcore guy. I just want to be that guy."

"The guy who sang at the auditions. Do your friends know that guy?"  
"To them, I'm the one who gets things done."

Roxanne sat down in the shade of a particularly large ficus, "Then they really don't know you. Back east, I was the freaky alchemy girl. It's cool coming here and being whoever I want to be. When we were auditioning, I just felt like a girl."

Envy sat down facing her, "You even look like one too!" he said, pointing at her.

She threw her head back and studied the light through the leaves of the ficus. "Do you remember," she said, "in kindergarten, you would meet someone, and ten seconds later, you're best friends? Because you didn't have to be anything but yourself?"

"Eh….no, not really," Envy said nervously, "but I get what you're saying."

"That's what singing is like. I didn't have to be Sergeant Roxanne Smith, Green-Life Alchemist. I could just be Roxanne." She looked him in the eye, "So do you really want to do the callbacks?"

Envy laid back and stared up at the clouds racing across the bright blue sky. "Yeah, sure, why not? You can just call me the freaky callback homunculus."

Roxanne sat up straight, "Freaky callback what?"

Envy jumped to his feet with acrobatic precision, preparing to run, "Ah, nothing. Freaky callback guy. That's all."

Roxanne stood up slowly, "You're a homunculus aren't you?"

Envy stood still, his violet eyes trying to find a way out.

"There's a group of homunculi causing destruction all over the country," she said slowly, as though she was thinking things through, "They say there are seven of them. One of them kind of fits your description. Tall, athletic, purple eyes, and hair like a palm tree."

"Hey! I do not look like a palm tree!" Envy said indignantly.

"So it is you?" Envy looked around, looking for an escape. "I don't plan on turning you in," she said, "but are you really a….homunculus?"

Envy sighed, "Yeah, I am. I knew I couldn't keep up the act for long. We all are; me, Lust, Wrath and Greed." Dante would kill him a thousand times if Roxanne knew about Pride and Sloth.

"How old are you?" she asked.

"Eighteen."

"How long have you been eighteen?"

Envy turned on his heel, "This isn't freaking Twilight!"

_Crash!_ They heard the dismayed cry of a Central Headquarters maintenance worker, shouting, "If this damn thing breaks one more time, I'll quit!!"

Roxanne laughed, "It really doesn't matter to me if you're a homunculus or not," she said frankly.

"So it doesn't bother you that I don't have a soul?" Envy asked curiously.

"Half the military don't have souls," she shrugged. "So are we still doing the callbacks?"

Envy laughed, "Why not? It'll be a really cruel irony if I'm the homunculus, though  
Roxanne smiled, "You're a cool guy, Envy. And thanks for showing me your secret hideout. Like kindergarten."

"I'll take your word for that."

She gave him a small salute as she descended down the trapdoor.

Envy laid down on his back and looked up as a flock of birds flew across his line of sight.

The next few days passed in a blur of color and music; every free moment spent practicing with Sciezka in the theatre across the street. The pile of paperwork grew on Roxanne's desk as the days went by, but it didn't bother her

(Training room. The homunculi [sans Envy] and Dante have just finished a grueling training session.)

A few days later, things finally came to a head between Dante and Envy. The homunculi were filing out of the training room when Envy skidded to a halt outside the room. Wrath bumped into him, "Good luck," he muttered.

"Yeah, thanks" Envy hissed back.

Envy sidled into the training room where Dante was conversing with Pride. Pride looked up, said something to Dante and walked out.

Dante turned the full force of her glare onto the oldest homunculus. Envy broke the tense silence, "I think I'm going to stay a while. Work on some aerial work."

"Well," she said in a deadly low voice, "since you missed training today, I think we all deserve some _effort_ from you." She turned and strutted out of the room, her boots clicking smartly on the floor.

Envy took a running start at the set of parallel bars on the right hand side of the room and started a series of flips and turns. He was concentrating so hard, he didn't hear Roxanne come in.

"So this is your other stage," she said.

Envy stopped and dropped to the ground. "Yeah," he panted, "I guess you could call it that. Or just a freezing work-out room."

She eyed the bars the homunculus had dropped from. She kicked off her shoes and ran of the springboard, grabbing the bar and executing three perfect turns. She swung off, sticking the landing.

Envy stared at her, "Don't tell me you do gymnastics too."

"Yeah," she said nonchalantly, "I never told you that I got a perfect score in the international alchemist's gymnastics competition finals?"  
"No way," he said astounded.

"Yeah," she continued, "and on the same day, I invented automail and made a perfect philosopher's stone."

"Philosopher's stone. Ha-ha, very funny." He jumped back on the bars and stretched himself across one.

"I've been rehearsing with Sciezka," she called up.

"Yeah, so have I. And I missed training today, so if Dante kills me, it can be on your conscience."

"Hey, I wasn't the one who told you to-"

"Chill," he said putting his hands up, "it's a joke."

"You know what-" she ran up to get onto the bar with him, but he jumped down.

She slid off the bar and started chasing him. "That's scratching. That's really bad scratching." He grabbed both her hands and pinned them above her head. She collapsed on the floor laughing.

Dante walked in, a murderous look on her face, "This room has been reserved for training."

"Oh, come on Dante. No one else is here," Envy sighed.

"Until the last person leaves the room, it is still reserved."

"Oh, I'm sorry ma'am," Roxanne got up off the floor, brushing off her front.

"Erm, Dante, this is Roxanne Smith," Envy said to break the silence.

"I see, your set-painting buddy," Dante eyes Roxanne as she retrieved her shoes.

"Well, I'll see you later, Envy. Nice meeting you Miss Dante." Roxanne left the room, leaving Envy and Dante alone.

"Dante, the punishment was my fault," Envy said.

"You haven't missed a training session in over four hundred years. That girl shows up and-"

"That girl is named Roxanne and she's very nice," retorted Envy.

"And what is she to you?" Dante snarled, "She's a human. What interest could you possibly have in her?"

"Dante," Envy said seriously, "it's not like that. She's just a girl."

"But you're not just a guy. You're the leader."

"Only When Pride's not around."

"Which is going to be very often, Envy. I need you around to keep the others in line. I can't have you off singing show-tunes with some mortal girl. Without you, our plans of taking over Central are nothing. Opportunities like this don't come around every decade. This is important."

"A lot of things are important Dante," retorted Envy.

"But you're a homunculus," Dante stressed, "not a singer."

"Did you ever think I could be both?" Envy stormed out of the room, leaving Dante alone.

Envy slid down a wall, his head between his knees, "Can I?" he asked himself.

* * *

I would like to take the time to point out that Envy isn't lying. His and Roxanne's relationship is platonic. Sorry, I can't do a HumanxHomunculus relationship. (but HWF, you know who you are, can!!)

Review please!!!!

So until next time,

~~BJ


	8. Plotting

A thousand apologies for my lovely readers!!!

I'm SO sorry for not updating. I had midterms and audition stress and such, and thus, no time to write.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or HSM. If I did, I would be very wealthy.

So what's Envy up to...?

Dedicated to my sister on her birthday. =) Happy 13th, Sloth.

* * *

Chapter 8: Plotting

(Setting: National Library Central Division First Branch. Envy is wandering up and down aisles with Wrath following close behind.)

"What spell," Wrath interjected, "has this overly-good-at-alchemy temptress girl cast on you that makes you want to be in a musical?"

"Look," explained Envy for the tenth time, "I just did it. Who cares?"

"'Who cares?'? How about the six of us?"

"I really don't think Gluttony really cares all that much if I'm in a musical, Wrath." Envy was getting really tired of Wrath following him everywhere and leaving no time to practice.

A librarian older than dirt swooped down on them and hushed at the two. Wrath pointed at Envy, "It was him!" The librarian stalked away looking for other overly-vocal people in her library

"Look," said Wrath, standing on his tiptoes to look Envy in the eye, "you're a homunculus. Not a musical singing dude." Envy walked away, trying to find a book, Wrath would not be thwarted. "Have you ever seen Norbert Leo Butz in a position of political power?" he asked accusingly.

"Who?" asked Envy, still not concerned with what was going on.

"Exactly!" exclaimed Wrath, "he was Fiyero in the original cast of Wicked on Broadway. Mommy's seen the musical about eight different times. She put a picture of Norbert Leo Butz in the refrigerator. Not on it. _In it_," he paused, crossing his arms, "So, if you want to carry out Dante's plan, you'll probably end up in some high position of power. If you want to sing, you'll end up in the inside of the refrigerator."

"Why did she put him in the refrigerator?" Envy asked.

"It's one of her crazy diet ideas, I don't know. Homunculi don't lose or gain weight, just ask Gluttony. I don't pretend to get girls." The librarian poked her head around the bookshelf. Wrath walked away and leaned over to Envy. "They're scary."

Envy grabbed the book he was looking for and sat down at one of the uncomfortable desks lining the walls of the library and flipped through the pages.

Wrath, to Envy's dismay, followed, "How do you expect us to focus on a hostile takeover if you're off grapevining across the stage singing 'Alchemist'?"

Envy looked up, "No one said anything about me grapevining. I may sing, but I don't dance."

"Not yet, but just you wait." Wrath went for pity, "We need you, Envy. Lust will just kill us and Pride's too busy doing all that paperwork you give him." Envy grinned maliciously.

The librarian swooped down on them, "If I have to give you two another warning, I'll-"

Wrath held up his hands, "I try to tell him." He looked at the older homunculus, "I really tried."

He stormed out of the library. Envy exhaled slowly and continued reading.

(Mustang's office. Roxanne, Mustang, Armstrong, Russell and Fletcher Tringham and Kimblee are gathered around a desk, reviewing tactics for the Alchemic decathlon.)

Greed, Wrath and Lust walked into the office and spotted the group of alchemists in a corner. With Wrath leading, the homunculi approached cautiously.

Outside the office, Winry spotted the groups talking and grabbed Ed's sleeve. "What are they doing?" she whispered.

Ed looked at the groups in conversation, "They must be trying to make sure that Envy and Roxanne get into the musical. The alchemists rule most of Central and if they get Roxanne into the musical, they'll have monopolized the entire city."

"And," said Winry suspiciously, "if Roxanne and Envy start going out, they'll be accepted no matter what. Ed," she said, startled, "we need to save the show from people who don't know the difference between an arrangement and an array." She stormed away, leaving the blond alchemist in her wake.

Meanwhile, across the room, Armstrong said, "Do you think it will work?"

Wrath set one of his mismatched hands on the desk, "It's the only way to save Envy and Roxanne from themselves." The other alchemists looked at one another. Wrath looked at them, "so we're on?" Mustang nodded. "Good," said Wrath, "so we start tomorrow."

"Ok," said Russell, "first thing."

"Great," said Wrath. He turned to Greed, "let's go." They walked out of the room, a plot brewing between homunculi and alchemists.

(Next day in the morning. Front steps of Central command.)

Wrath poked his head out from behind a planter and fell in alongside Mustang. "Ok," he said, holding out one arm, which Mustang noticed, was longer than the other. "My watch is set to 8:45 Mountain Time."

"Ok," said Mustang, "but just so you know, we're not in Mountain Time."

"Which is why," Wrath pointed out, rolling up his sleeve further, "I've set _this_ watch to Eastern Time."

Mustang looked concerned, "We're not in Eastern Time either."

"Really?" Wrath looked at his arm, "which time zone are we in?"

Mustang rolled his eyes and gestured at the city around them, "Central Time."

"Oh, I guess that makes sense." Wrath set to resetting his watch, then looked up, "Then we're on go mode until lunch at exactly 12:05."

Yes, but there's one thing."

"What?"

"We're not Charlie's Angels." _Shatter_. Mustang looked around wildly, "Ok, lunch got it," and hurried off

Wrath was left standing there and almost got bowled over by an infuriated janitor muttering something about, "no respect for the fourth wall," and "duct tape being expensive nowadays," and "back when he was a kid, they never broke the fourth wall."

Wrath just looked confused.

(Lunch time. Envy is wandering the corridors near the training room. Two of Lust's Ultimate Spear fingers pick up his shirt and drag him into the training room.)

The room was dark. Envy felt Lust's fingers releasing his clothes. Suddenly, a light burst on, bathing the workout room in a yellow light.

"Wrath," said the small child in front.

"Pride, Ultimate Eye," said the Fuhrer from the back row.

"Lust, Ultimate Spear," said the tall woman, who was resting on,

"Gluttony," said the short round homunculus, chewing on a finger.

"Sloth," said the medium height woman with straight brown hair.

"Greed, Ultimate Shield" said the tallest homunculus, leaning against a wall

"And Envy," said Wrath, pointing at the oldest homunculus, "the Ultimate Identity."

In the corner, Greed coughed, "Abomination."

Wrath continued, "Together, we are homunculi, sins. Deadly sins. Do you think deadly sins go around singing in musicals, days before an important assault on Central?"

"No!" chorused the homunculi in the background.

"Exactly. We are homunculi because we are almost immortal. Do we waste our lives on musicals?"

"No!"

"And who," Wrath addressed the group now, "was the first homunculus born?"

"Envy," chorused the group.

"So who made him the leader?"

"We did,"

"And who," Wrath continued, "are going to get their sorry butts kicked at Friday's confrontation if Envy's worried about an audition?"

"We are!" shouted Greed. The others nodded in agreement.

"Guys, come on," Envy said reasonably, "there are seven of us, not just me-"

"Seven?" inquired Wrath, "I think you're forgetting someone. Dante."

"Yes, Envy. Without Dante, we'd all be crawling around only looking vaguely human. She fed us, created us, raised us."

(Mustang's office. Alchemic decathlon team is gathered around a projector and screen.)

Mustang started the slide show, "From early Neanderthal and Cro-Magnon," he said, "the oracle at Delphi, all leading up to," there appeared on the screen, a picture of a palm tree. Mustang turned to Fletcher, "Other slide," he hissed. Envy appeared, smiling insanely on the screen, "Palm tree freak." Mustang declared.

Back in the work out room, Envy twitched subconsciously.

"Yes," continued Mustang, "throughout the ages, out culture has embraced the insane, worshipping them as gods, and we end up with insane, sadistic, power-hungry weirdoes who contribute nothing to society except chaos and superstition. That is the inevitable world of Envy."

Roxanne grimaced.

"But our path," continued Russell, "the path of alchemy and science has brought us these people." The screen flashed a series of people and Russell commented, "Nicholas Flamel, Dmitri Mendeleev, Albertus Magnus, Sir Isaac Newton, heck, even the State Alchemists. People who the world revere." He thought, "Well, except for Isvalans, but what are you going to do?"

"Ok," Roxanne conceded, "but what does this have to do with me?" She made to get up, "I really should go. Sciezka's waiting for me.

"Roxanne," said Mustang. Roxanne immediately sat down. The colonel continued, "Envy represents one side of evolution. And our side, the side of enlightenment and alchemy is the future of civilization! This is where you belong."

(Back in the work out room.)

"Guys,' Envy said, holding his hands up, "if you don't know that I'll give this everything I've got, then you don't know me."

"But," interjected Wrath, confused, "we just thought…"

"I'll tell you what I thought," said Envy, anger and pain building up inside of him. _How dare they question his commitment, his loyalty! _"I thought that we're a team. Win together, or die together."

"But," said Wrath, opening a laptop, "the girl. The singing."

"I'm for the fight. I've always been for the fight. She's just someone I met…"

(Mustang's Office, a live feed has appeared on the projector.)

Envy's voice and video were suddenly on the wall, "…alright? The singing thing is nothing. Probably just a way to keep my nerves down, I don't know, it means nothing to me. You're my guys and this is our fight. Roxanne is not important. I'll forget her. Forget the audition. We'll go out and stomp the State Alchemists into the dust. Happy now?"

Mustang cut off the feed, "Behold, palm tree freak."

Roxanne felt her eyes grow wet. Not so much from the fact that Envy had just called everything they had done a farce, but that she had been stupid enough to follow it. She should have known from the moment he had said that he was a homunculus that he couldn't be trusted. That was her fault and hers alone. Losing Envy as a person wasn't what moved her to tears, the loss of a friend to confide in was what she mourned.

"So," said Armstrong gently, feeling her dismay, 'we'd love to have you on the alchemic decathlon team."

"Do you want to grab some lunch?" called Mustang as he headed out the door.

"No," sighed Roxanne, looking at her hands.

"Well," said Russell, putting a hand on her shoulder, "we'll be there if you want to."

(Work out room)

Wrath ran up and hugged Envy around the waist. As Envy pried him off, Greed started chanting, "What team?"  
"Homunculi!" shouted Wrath.

"What team?"  
"Homunculi!" Lust and Gluttony joined in.

"What team?"

"Homunculi!" Pride and Sloth cheered.

"Homunculi!" called Wrath from on top of Greed's shoulders Gavroche-style.

"Get'cha head in the game!" Even Envy cheered this time, the adrenaline pumping through his veins, not knowing the destruction he had caused.

~~BJ

* * *

EXTRA BONUS PART!!!!!!

(Mustang's office)

To an ordinary person, it would have appeared that Roxanne was just pawing at the air, but she was looking for something specific. Just behind Furey's desk, in seemingly empty air, her hands came to rest on a smooth, glass-like surface. She grabbed a felt-tip pen and quickly sketched an array. As she put her hands to it, a hole appeared in the mysterious fourth wall.

"Umm," she called into the hole, "I have a problem."

_What?!?! What are you doing?_

"Well," she continued to speak through the fourth wall, "I'm supposed to sing 'When There Was Me and You', but that's a love song, and you said yourself that my and Envy's relationship was platonic."

_I've just been outsmarted by my own character. Ok, then what do we do?_

"I don't know, skip it? You're the author of this parody, do what you want."

_That is true, so just express your dismay, then we can move onto the next chapter._

"Does this qualify as breaking the fourth wall?"

_No, just put it back together when you're done._

"Then why did you keep having the janitor clean it up?"

_Comic relief._

"Oh. Ok," and she placed the circular disc that had fallen out and transmuted the fourth wall back together. With this plot crisis satisfied, Roxanne went down to lunch.

* * *

So? What did you think? Please review, because reviews make me happy and help me decide where to go!!

See you soon!!


	9. Losing Focus

Hey everyone!! Sorry I didn't update last week, I was sick =(.

I'd like to give a shout-out to Edward Elric: 1) Your comment made me laugh whe I was home with a really bad cold, for that I thank you and 2) don't worry, I'm shorter. I'm all of 5'3" =)

So here's the next chapter in the ongoing saga of the Fullmetal Alchemist Musical!!

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or HSM.

Enjoy!!

* * *

Chapter 9: Losing Focus

(Setting: Mustang's office. Roxanne has just settled the issue of 'When There Was Me and You.)

Roxanne wandered out of Mustang's office, contemplating the feed she had just seen. The words had stung her. Did the musical really men nothing to Envy? And what about her? Envy had been her first singing partner. He helped in some way to anchor her and stop her from freezing up on stage. _Without him_, she thought, _I can't do this_.

As she turned to find the otherwise deserted corridor suddenly filled with milling people, she resolved to find Mr. Hohenheim and remove herself from the callback list.

She walked out into the courtyard, the chill winter sun shining, but doing little to warm her up. She was contemplating the irony of this, so she didn't hear Envy come up behind her.

He fell in beside her. "Hey," he said, not realizing what she had seen.

She ignored him and kept walking.

"So, there's something I want to talk to you about-"

"And here it is," she turned to him, "I know what it's like for you to need to stay with the others. You've got your team to worry about. We're cool." She continued walking.

Envy was confused, "Cool about what? I wanted to talk about callbacks-"

"I don't want to do them either." Envy was stunned. Roxanne continued, "I mean, who are we kidding? You have your team and I've got mine. I'll do the Alchemic Decathlon and you try to take over Central. We'll stop you, though," she added.

Envy floundered for words, "But…I-"

"Me neither," Roxanne left him standing there as she ran to meet up with the rest of the alchemists.

(The workout room.)

Envy ran to the parallel bars. He swung once, twice, three times; then his foot caught on one of the bars, sending him flying across the floor and knocking his breath out. He ran back towards the bars, launching himself into a handspring, but his wrist collapsed under him and he heard it snap.

"Dammit," he growled. As he lay on the floor, feeling the red stones inside him regenerate his broken wrist, he thought about what Roxanne had said. What had he done to set her off?

Wrath poked his head into the room, "Oh, hey Envy I didn't know you were here."

"Yeah," said Envy distractedly. He got up, bent his wrist once, and walked past Wrath without a second glance.

(The café)

The Alchemic Decathlon team was practicing late again. Roxanne was debating with Russell the best way to make vines into a hammock and Mustang was lounging in an armchair, flirting with a waitress.

Roxanne got up to get the group more coffee when Envy walked in to meet Greed, Wrath and Lust. She didn't look up in time, and she bumped into him. She looked up and for a moment, made eye contact and green locked onto violet. An awkward silence fell in the café. Roy turned to see the source of the silence, as did Wrath. Roxanne turned away, leaving Envy alone again, his eyes confused.

Roxanne sat down, thoughts of coffee forgotten. The colonel surveyed his subordinate, who had moodily started sketching an array on a sheet of paper. Mustang got up and crossed the floor towards Wrath, who had the same thought.

"We've got to do something," he said.

"Yeah," agreed Wrath.

(Rooftop of the florist shop. Envy is staring out at the city.)

Wrath, Greed and Lust opened the trap door in the roof of the florist shop.

"Hey!" called Wrath.

Envy muttered something under his breath.

"Well, we just had a meeting," continued Wrath.

"Oh, wonderful," said Envy.

Wrath took another breath, "About the singing thing-"

"I don't want to talk about it," said Envy dismissively.

"-we'll be there. We're going to cheer for you."

Greed jumped in, "If this is something you want to do, we should boost you up. Not tear you down."

"We'll be there, even if you're the worst singer in the world," said Wrath excitedly.

"Which we don't know," added Lust, "because we haven't heard you sing."

"And you're not going to hear me sing." Objected Envy, "because Roxanne won't talk to me and I don't know why."

Wrath paused for a moment, "We do." He turned to Greed, who pulled out a bag of chocolate-chip cookies.

"I baked them this morning. You might want one before we tell you."

Envy took the cookies warily.

(Mustang's Office. Roxanne is sketching an array on the whiteboard.)

The rest of the team walked in. Russell approached her. "We were jerks," he said, catching her off guard, "No. We were worse than jerks, we were mean jerks. We thought Envy and the singing thing was hurting our chances at the decathlon."

"I heard what he said," said Roxanne, "done."

"No. Not done," said Mustang, "we knew Wrath could get Envy to say things that would make you want to forget callbacks. We planted, and we're sorry."

"Listen, no one made Envy say those things. And it doesn't matter anymore. We should be preparing for the decathlon."

"No," said Fletcher, his young eyes sincere, "what you think of us, and more importantly, what you do with the musical is what matters."

Roxanne stared at them, stunned. She turned back to a reference book and added a few more lines to the array.

(Roxanne's apartment.)

Roxanne was lying on her bed, the apartment filled with the sound of Within Temptation, Evanescence and L'arc~en~Ciel. She was re-reading volume 3 of her favorite manga, -Man.

Her phone rang. She didn't feel like picking up, so she let it go to voicemail. The voice she heard was familiar, "Hey Roxanne, it's Envy. I looked up your number in the white pages, and I just wanted to let you know that I made a mistake and I'm sorry. I'm going to try your cell next. Call me when you get this. Ok, bye."

Her cell phone, lying on her bedside table rang. She looked at the caller id, and saw it was Envy. She turned down the music and picked up her phone.

"Hello?"

"What you heard the other day," said Envy in a rushed voice, "it wasn't true. I was sick of the others riding me about singing with you, so I just wanted to get them off my back. I didn't mean it."

"You sounded pretty convincing to me," she said, turning on the lamp by the window.

"Listen, the guy you met New Year's Eve is way more me than the guy who said those things."

"This whole thing is getting city-wide. You said so yourself, everyone's treating you different because of it."

"Maybe because I don't want to be the hardcore guy anymore and they can't handle it. It's not my problem."

"What about Dante?"

She heard him shudder slightly over the phone before he said, "I'll deal with Dante. This is about what I want to do for once. The rest of them can go to hell. I'm going to sing. Are you?"

"I really don't know," she said nervously.

"Well, you have to say yes, because I brought you something."

"That sounds sketchy. What do you mean?"

"Turn around."

"Now I'm nervous." She turned to the window and saw Envy reclining in a large tree outside her window, dressed in his usual skort and tank top. She opened the window and laughed, "Creeper," she said.

"Haha," the homunculus laughed derisively. He held up a stack of paper, "This is a pairs audition. I'll look really stupid if I show up by myself."

"You came to my house," she said.

Envy held up a phone book, "Magic."

Roxanne hung her head and laughed, "Ok, I'll do it."

Envy grinned.

"Just as long," she added a caveat, "as you stop creeping my house."

Envy held up his right hand, "Promise."

They both laughed.

* * *

Aww, that's cute.

Review, because reviews make an author with a sinus infection happy!

Yours sniffly,

Brigette Janine =)


	10. Absolute Chaos and Bopping to the Top

Hello FanFic-ers! (........yes I've mad it into a noun. Don't judge.)

Anywho, sory for the dry spell, rehearsal and break and wrist issues and so forth. But it's here! The third-to last (don't hold me to it) chapter of the Fullmetal Alchemist Musical.

Disclaimer: It's chapter ten, you should know I don't own HSM or FMA. If I had any rights to FMA, Greed would still be Greed and not Ling, and there would be a lot more Royai and EdxWinry.

Soooo............

* * *

Chapter 10: Absolute Chaos and Bopping to the Top

(Setting: The theatre across from Central command. Envy is lounging on top of Sciezka's piano, checking a nonexistent watch.)

They heard Roxanne barreling down the hallway before they saw her. She swung around the corner, flying through the doubled doors, tripping over her shoelace and landing in a stupendous heap at the end of the aisle. Envy looked curiously over the side of the piano at the red Converse sticking out of a set of military robes.

"You're late," he observed.

Roxanne untangled herself and brushed dust off the front of her uniform. "Shut up," she said, mock punching his arm.

Sciezka stretched and began to warm up the two singers.

Outside the theatre, in the lobby, Winry and Ed were passing through to finalize some blocking points. Winry was humming to herself when she threw her arm out, hitting Ed in the throat. The alchemist gasped for air, "What was that for?"

The two blondes leaned towards the doors to the theatre. "Wow," said Ed, "they're good."

Winry peered through the window in the door and gasped, "We have to do something." She thought for a moment, "Ok, the callbacks are on Thursday. And the Alchemic Decathlon is on Friday."

"I heard Wrath saying that the homunculi were going to try and take over Central on Friday too."

Winry grinned, "Too bad these events aren't happening on the same day. At the same time."

Ed looked confused, "But then Envy and Roxanne wouldn't be able to make the-" his eyes widened, "oh."

Winry grinned evilly.

(The theatre. Winry is pestering Hohenheim and Sciezka is transposing the tenor parts down a minor third for Envy because he's a baritone. [A/N: MLIG.])

Sciezka looked up as voices from back stage grew louder. Mr. Hohenheim walked out followed by Winry, who was followed by Ed.

"For the last time," continued Hohenheim, "if you think that as drama club co-presidents it would be best for the production if we moved the callbacks to Friday, I might consider it." He walked down the ramp center stage and left the theatre.

Ed still looked confused, "I can never get a straight answer out of that guy. Is that a yes?"  
Winry grinned evilly and walked away humming.

(The café the next day, Thursday. Sciezka is leaning her head against the bulletin board. The decathlon team and the homunculi minus Pride and Sloth enter.)

Envy was the first to notice the new addition to the bulletin board. "Callbacks the same time as out plan for takeover?"  
"And the Decathlon," said Roxanne dismayed.

"Who did this?" asked Russell.

"I smell a rat called Hohenheim," growled Envy.

"Actually," said Sciezka, still facing the board, "two rats, neither of which are named Hohenheim."

Greed looked at her, "Do you know something about this, Bookworm?"

Sciezka sweat dropped at this remark, but continued, "Hohenheim thinks he's doing what's best for the theatre, but Ed and Winry only concerned with their selves."

"You know what I'm going to do to that half-pint alchemist and the automail mechanic?" said Kimblee threateningly.

"Nothing," Roxanne cut across him. "Except sing. Maybe. Bit it'll only work if we all work together."

The alchemists and homunculi shook hands in a temporary truce.

Roxanne grinned evilly.

(Friday. Mustang's Office)

Wrath, Envy and Greed walked onto the office, carrying flour, water, food coloring, sugar, eggs, milk, butter, shortening, chocolate and baking soda. Roxanne looked up from the array she was sketching last-minute. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Just a little present," Wrath replied glibly.

Roxanne looked dubious when they poured the ingredients onto Mustang's already messy desk.

"Ok," Wrath announced, "stand back." He clapped his hands and the office was filled with blue light. When the light cleared, the papers had formed into a platter and on the platter was a frosted and decorated cake. Wrath pumped his fist, "Yes! It didn't explode!"

Roxanne looked at the array designed in frosting and tentatively placed her hands on the edges. Multicolored flowers bloomed from the surface of the cake and Wrath jumped in delight, "It didn't explode!"

Roxanne cut into the cake and distributed it to the rest of the Decathlon team and homunculi. "So," she said conversationally, "we all set?"

Envy grinned evilly.

(Fuhrer's Office. All the homunculi are gathered around Dante.)

"Ok," Dante said, "this is our last chance. This is our chance to get Central. If we fail, we're all going down. If we win, we focus on our next goal."

Envy was lounging on one of Pride's couches, toying with a split end in his hair. Dante sat down beside him. "I know I've been tough on you," she started.

"Oh, just a smidge,' said Envy sarcastically.

"But it's because we need you-I need you to succeed. This plan is all on you. I get that it's a lot of stress, but stress is good for you."

"Yeah…thanks."

"Anytime."

(Lecture hall. The Alchemic Decathlon team is politely greeting the team from Fort Briggs.)

"Hello Alchemists," said the announcer, "and welcome to the 15th annual Alchemic Decathlon between Central Command and Fort Briggs. If the teams will take their seats, the competition will begin in a moment."

The two teams sat at opposite tables with periodic tables, scales and various containers spread out. Roxanne looked over to Kimblee, who's eyes were closed, his palms folded serenely. As though sensing her gaze, he opened one eye and winked.

(Fuhrer's Office.)

Dante looked at the clock. It was 10:30. "Ok," she addressed the group, "it time to go. Gather up Pride and Sloth, hold them hostage. The alchemists will come, and we will destroy them. Understood?"

"Yeah," said Envy enthusiastically, "what team?"

"Homunculi!" replied everyone.

What Dante didn't know was that this exchange was actually a cue for Greed to hit the play button on a CD player. The CD started playing the sound of an infant crying. Wrath immediately tensed up, and ran towards the wall behind Pride's desk. He ran into the wall once, twice and on the third time, sank three feet into the wall, leaving his head and shoulders poking out of the wall like some ridiculous mounted head.

The others ran to the wall to try and calm down Wrath, but Envy slipped out the door after an assuring wink from Wrath, who was screaming about marshmallows eating him in the Gate.

(Lecture hall.)

Roxanne stood at the blackboard, racing to finish the array she was drawing. She added one last squiggle and pressed her hands to the circle. A palm tree burst out of the chalkboard, coconuts and all. She flipped the board over to display her work upright. The judges seemed impressed as they wrote down her score.

She looked at the clock, it was 10:35.

(Theatre.)

Various spectators filed into the theatre and Hohenheim strode to the front, addressing to small audience. "Casting the leads of a show is both a challenge and a responsibility. A joy and a burden. I commend these and all other young artists who hold out for the moon and stars." He seemed caught up in the moment, then continued, "Shall we soar together?" With his speech done, the audience clapped politely.

The curtain rose, revealing Winry in a sequined pink dress and Ed in black pants, a white dress shirt, a silver sequined vest and a fedora.

The music started as upbeat salsa music, then Winry took center and started singing, "I believe in dreaming, and shooting for the stars."

Ed crossed in front of her, "Baby to be number one, you got to raise the bar."

Winry poked her head above her partner, "Kicking and a scratching, grinding out my best."

Ed shrugged, "Anything it takes to climb the ladder of success."

The two began a step-step-step-ball-change motion, "Work our tails off everyday. Gotta bump the competition, blow them all away. Yeah we're gonna bop bop bop, bop to the top. Slip and slide and ride that rhythm."

Ed did a one-handed cartwheel, "Jump and hop, hop until we drop."

Winry did a very stylized jazz square, "And start again. Zip zap zop, walk like a mop."

Ed slid back to center stage, "Scoot around the corner. Move it to the groove, until the music stops."

The returned to their salsa/step-ball-change motion, "Do the bop bop bop to the top. Don't ever stop. Bop to the top. Gimme, gimme. Shimmy, shimmy. Shake some booty and turn around. Flash a smile in their direction,"

Winry posed, flexing her arms, "Show some muscle,"

Ed added, kind of ridiculously, "Do the hustle."

The duet moved in for their finale, and began climbing a ladder, "Yeah we're gonna bop, bop, bop. Bop to the top. Wipe away your inhibitions. Stomp, stomp, stomp, do the rump, and strut your stuff. Bop, bop, bop, straight to the top. We're going for the glory! We'll keep stepping up and we just won't stop till we reach the top. Bop to the top!" They struck a final pose.

The audience erupted in a spattering of applause. Hohenheim stepped onto the stage. "And this is why we love the theatre. Now, our next callback, Envy and Roxanne." No one answered. "Envy, Roxanne?"

Sciezka stood up, "They'll be here," she said.

"The theatre, as I have often pointed out, waits for no one. I'm sorry."

Sciezka sat back down at her piano.

Then the door slammed open.

* * *

Oh, cliffie!!!!!!!

Well, thanks for reading, and please review. Reviews are awesome.

For those interested, MLIG stands for My Life Is Godspell, my current musical. People who get it are Shiloh and Victoria, so if either of you guys comment, I love you very much. And He is often found in one thing small, conversely he is often missed in many.

Love you all, and see you next chapter!!

~Brigette Janine


	11. Breaking Free

Hey everyone!! Look, I actually posted on schedule! This is what a sick day and a snow day can do. Thanks to Shiloh Asha for your ridiculously amazing review.

Well, it's almost over. This is our penultimate chapter. I love all my readers very much, thanks to my invaluable contrbutors ArIN, Shiloh Asha, Mysterious Victoria, Margaret-Ann and A Girl Called Tennessee. Love you all!

Disclaimer: If I owned FMA, Ran Fan would have both arms and Brotherhoood would be dubbed sooner. If I owned HSM, it would have stopped after one movie.

And now, Chapter 11 of the Fullmetal Alchemist Musical

* * *

Chapter 11: Breaking Free

(Setting: The theatre in Central. Winry and Ed have finished their flamboyant audition, but Envy and Roxanne are nowhere to be found. Then the door burst open.)

Envy and Roxanne sprinted down the aisle. "We're here!" panted Envy. Roxanne was doubled over, clutching a stitch in her side.

Winry jumped off the ladder, "But," she stuttered incredulously, "how did you get here? The decathlon…and the homunculus…thing."

"Well," started Envy, "Wrath provided a distraction, causing the hostile takeover to be postponed. I ran off, and tipped off one of the guards that there was a group of homunculi trying to take the Fuhrer, his secretary and a state alchemist hostage. They bust in while Dante, Greed, Lust and Gluttony were trying to get Wrath out of the Fuhrer's bookcase. They were arrested for kidnapping and holding the Fuhrer hostage. I do believe that as we speak, Dante is in the Central prison," he finished smugly.

Winry turned to Roxanne, "Ands how did you get out of the decathlon?"  
"Well," started Roxanne….

Flashback

It was 10:35. Roxanne turned to Russell, who nodded to Mustang, who elbowed Kimblee, who was asleep in his chair. The Crimson Alchemist jerked awake, looked at the clock and grinned, nodding to Mustang. He jumped up onto the table and pointed at Mustang. "I can't take it anymore," he shouted dramatically, "it's been almost five years since Ishval, and since then, I haven't blown anything up. I think it's time for Central to go up in a bang."

Mustang also jumped onto the table, "No, Kimblee, you can't. All those times in pyromaniacs anonymous together, you were on your way to recovery!"

Kimblee made a dive for the Colonel, who sidestepped. Kimblee grabbed vials of sulfur and cobalt and ran to the palm tree sticking out of the chalkboard. He cackled manically, "Now see the work of the Crimson Alchemist!" He put his tattooed palms on the palm tree, holding the cobalt in one and the sulfur in the other. The resulting explosion shattered the vials of other elements and windows, and created a cloud of blue smoke that smelled like rotten eggs. The alchemists from Central, who were prepared for this, ducked under their table and pulled out gas masks.

Mustang jumped off the table heroically and addressed the gathered group of gagging gawkers, "Ladies and gentlemen," he said calmly, "the state alchemists have this perfectly under control, but I would advise you to leave the room in an orderly fashion. We're not sure which elements were released in the explosion, so we're not positive that fire won't ignite the air, creating a larger explosion." He slipped on his flame gloves, turning to the cloud of blue smoke, "Now, Kimblee, you must remember, if you play with fire, you get burned." The lecture hall emptied immediately.

Kimblee stepped out of the smoke, tears streaming down his face, gasping for air, "That-was-awesome," he laughed, "I haven't had that much fun since that frat party at Southern University."

Roxanne looked nervously at the two alchemists, then the clock. It was now 10:45, her audition was at 10:50. "Oh, crap," she muttered, and sprinted out of the lecture hall, frantically taking off her uniform in the process, revealing a button-up blue shirt and a pair of black dress pants.

End Flashback

Ed stared at her, "'Pyromaniacs Anonymous'?"

"Yeah," replied Roxanne, "they might have had way too much fun with that."

"Well," Hohenheim interrupted, "that's all very well and good, but I called your names. Twice."

"But-" interjected Envy.

"Rules are rules," said Hohenheim with finality.

There was a rush from the lobby. The entire audience from the decathlon, including both teams, along with Wrath, Greed and Lust stormed the theatre.

"Um," said Winry, "we'll do our number again."

"Well," said Hohenheim affronted, "we're all glad you could make it, but the time for auditions is past, and there's no one to accompany you."

"That's show biz," shrugged Ed.

"We can sing without accompaniment," said Envy, rushed.

"I'll do it!" called Sciezka from the stage right wing.

"You really don't want to," said Winry matter-of-factly.

"No," said Sciezka defiantly, "I really do. Ready in five!"

"Thank you five," called Envy and Roxanne.

"Now that's show biz," said Hohenheim approvingly.

Envy handed Roxanne a microphone. She stared out to the audience, a look of pure terror on her face. "I can't do this," she whispered.

Sciezka began playing the intro to the song. Envy waited for his vocal cue from Roxanne, but it didn't come. She was frozen on the stage. The music stopped and Envy ran over to her, "What's wrong?"  
"I-I can't. Not with all those people."

"Look. Just relax and focus," he said, "like the first time we sang together."

She closed her eyes and breathed slowly. "Ok, I can do this."

Sciezka began the intro again.

Envy began quietly, "We're soarin', flyin'. There's not a star in heaven that we can't reach," he reached out to her.

She looked up at him nervously, "If we're trying, so we're breaking free."

They took a step forward, "You know the world can see us in a way that's different than who we are. Creating space between us 'til we're separate hearts. But your faith it gives me strength. Strength to believe."

Envy punched the air, "We're breakin' free!"

Roxanne spun out, "We're soarin',"

Envy completed the part, "Flyin'."

They began the choreography they had worked on for days, "There's not a star in heaven that we can't reach. If we're trying. Yeah, we're breaking free."

Envy flipped in the air and landed with catlike grace, "Oh, we're breakin' free! Can you feel it building?" He moonwalked, earning cheers from a few fangirls, "Like a wave the ocean just can't control."

Roxanne spun towards him, "Connected by a feeling, Ohhh, in our very souls."

They lifted their arms over their heads, "Rising 'til it lifts us up, so every one can see."

Envy did a back handspring, "We're breakin' free!"

They grabbed their hands and started spinning like little children, "We're soarin', flyin'. There's not a star in heaven that we can't reach. If we're trying, yeah we're breaking free."

Roxanne skipped away from the circle, "Runnin'"

Envy climbed the ladder left on stage from Ed and Winry's audition, "Climbin'"

Envy slid down the ladder and met Roxanne center stage. They clasped hands, "To get to that place to be all that we can be. Now's the time, so we're breaking free. We're breaking free."

By this time the audience was on their feet, cheering. Envy led them in clapping, "More than hope. More than faith."

Roxanne led the other side of the audience, "This is true. This is fate  
This was the harmony part that had always tripped them up in rehearsal, "And together, we'll see it comin'."

Envy sighed in relief, "More than you. More than me."

Roxanne was jumping up and down, "Not a want, but a need. Both of us breakin' free!" She ran to Envy who lifted her over his head and set her on his other side, "Soarin'"

Envy struck a pose, "Flyin'"

For the finale, a star was dropped in front of the ladder by Greed and Wrath.

The two performers made their way to the star, "There's not a star in heaven that we can't reach, if we're trying. Yeah we're breaking free. Were runnin' climbin' to get to the place to be all that we can be. Now's the time, so we're breaking free." The music slowed down, as they sang the last few bars, "You know the world can see us in a way that's different than who we are."

The last notes of the music were drowned out by the tumultuous applause the two actors received.

Roxanne was giddy with adrenaline, "We did it!" she sqeaked.

"Yeah," Envy gasped, "we did."

The actors bowed, and motioned for Sciezka to bow too. The pianist got up nervously and bowed. The audience cheered louder, and someone threw a flower boquet.

"Now all you have to do is make up with Dante," said Roxanne.

Envy grimaced.

* * *

Well, I will see you all next week for the closure of the Fullmetal Alchemist Musical. R&R for better or for worse.

Again, a thousand thanks to all my readers, especially international ones.

~~Brigette Janine


	12. Happy Endings kinda

Hey everyone, here's the last chapter for the Fullmetal Alchemist MUsical, I hope you all enjoyed it. At the end, my bestie Hope makes a special guest appearence. In order to fully understand the exchange, please read A Girl Called Tennessee's Sin of A Homunculus.

Disclaimer: I don't own High School Musical, nor would I even want to. If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist, I would be exceedingly rich and RoyxEd would be banished from my sight.

Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 12: Happy Endings (kinda)

(Setting: The café in Central. The homunculi, alchemists and various subordinates to Mustang are chatting animatedly over a round of cappuccinos on Greed.)

"So," said Roxanne over her paper cup, "are the homunculi still going to try and take over Central?"

"Nah," said Greed, leaning back in his chair, "since Dante's been released from the prison, the military's keeping a close eye on her. We won't be attempting a hostile takeover for some time."

"Well that's a relief," said Mustang, who was chatting with Hawkeye in a corner, "I can finally relax for once."

"And what about the decathlon?" asked Envy.

"We beat Briggs 23-15," said Kimblee matter-of-factly.

"They actually let you back into the competition?" asked Wrath.

"Well, I think they were too afraid that he would blow them all up, so yeah," replied Mustang.

"That was soo fun!"

"Shut up," said Russell disconsolately.

"Oh, come on," Roxanne jabbed him in the ribs, "what's wrong?"

"We're out of money and we don't have anywhere to stay because brother spent it all on books," supplied Fletcher.

Russell looked abashed.

"You can stay in my apartment," offered Roxanne.

"Really?" Russell perked up.

"Yeah, sure. You did help me land this audition, and that thing with the oak tree? Awesome."

Russell's cheeks flushed pink. He leaned over to grab a packet of sugar, and pecked Roxanne on the cheek. Her ears turned bright red as she smiled into her coffee. Envy, being Envy, wolf-whistled as he made an awkward turtle. This earned him a smack upside the head from his singing partner.

Riza leaned over Roxanne, "I guess it's a good day for romance. Roy just asked me out."

Roxanne turned around to the Flame Colonel, "Well it's about time!" Any Royai fangirls here erupted in cheers. The RoyxEd fangirls were sad.

Winry and Ed entered the café. Envy made another awkward turtle.

Winry approached Roxanne, "Congratulations on getting the part. I'll be the understudy in case you can't make one of the shows. So break a leg."

Roxanne looked horrified.

Winry smiled, "It's theatre slang for good luck." Roxanne sighed in relief.

Envy started absently drumming a beat on the table. The others picked it up in counterpoint until the entire café was filled with improvised percussion.

The alchemists and homunculi jumped up onto tables and began to clap. Roxanne looked at Wrath, "You know, I guess humans and homunculi can get along."

The child smiled a toothy grin as he started jamming to the beat reverberating around the café.

Soon, the entire group was singing, "Together, together, together everyone. Together, together, come on lets have some fun. Together, were there for each other every time. Together, together come on lets do this right."

Envy slid on his knees to the front of the café, singing into an imaginary mic, "Here and now its time for celebration. I finally figured it out. Yeah, yeah. That all our dreams have no limitations. That's what its all about."

Roxanne stepped forward, holding Russell's hand, "Everyone is special in their own way. We make each other strong. We're not the same. We're different in a good way. Together's where we belong."

They began a bouncing choreography that would inspire Sciezka's dance for the show's opening number, _Transmutation_, "We're all in this together. Once we know what we are. We're all stars and we see that we're all in this together and it shows when we stand hand in hand. Make our dreams come true. Together, together, together everyone. Together, together, come on lets have some fun. Together, were there for each other every time. Together, together come on lets do this right!"

Ed jumped onto the coffee bar and struck a pose, "We're all here and speaking out with one voice. We're going to rock the house (everyone else shouted, "YEAH, YEAH!") The party's on now everybody make some noise, come on scream and shout!"

Winry jumped up next to him, "We've arrived because we stuck together. Champions one and all." When she was done singing, she kissed Ed soundly on the mouth, causing the RoyxEd fangirls to evaporate into dust. [A/N: I apologize to any RoyxEd fangirls, but, really? Roy isn't a peadophile. He likes women. Like Riza. =)]

The rest of the group continued with their singing, "We're all in this together. Once we know what we are. We're all stars and we see that we're all in this together and it shows when we stand hand in hand. Make our dreams come true. We're all in this together. When we reach, we can fly, know inside we can make it. We're all in this together, once we see there's a chance that we have and we take it"

The alchemists stepped forward and began a step combination that impressed everyone who said alchemists didn't have rhythm. The harmony impressed Sciezka immensely, "Alchemists sing along. Yeah, you really got it goin' on. Alchemists in the house. Everybody say it now. Alchemists everywhere. Wave your hands up in the air. That's the way we do it. Let's get to it. Time to show the world."

Envy interrupted the song, "When did you guys come up with that routine?"

"Well," said Roxanne, "it was going to be our victory song when we beat the homunculi. We added the dance because we heard your cheer was pretty good."

"It's decent," conceded Envy. He turned to Wrath, "What team?"

"Homunculi!"

"What team?"

"Homunculi!" replied Wrath and Greed.

"Homunculi!" called Envy.

"Get'cha head in the game!" called the rest of the homunculi.

"I like it," said Roxanne approvingly.

"I think we need to get back to the song now," said Envy, "they've been vamping for a while."

"Oh, you're right!" cried Roxanne, "Everyone, places for the finale!"

With a cry of "Thank you places", the group got in formation. Kimblee and Mustang may have had a bit too much fun with setting off pyrotechnics, but they were the only basses, so they were needed for the harmony. The whole group sang, "We're all in this together. Once we know what we are. We're all stars and we see that we're all in this together and it shows when we stand hand in hand. Make our dreams come true. We're all in this together. When we reach, we can fly, know inside we can make it. We're all in this together, once we see there's a chance that we have and we take it. We're all in this together. Once we know what we are. We're all stars and we see that we're all in this together and it shows when we stand hand in hand. Make our dreams come true."

The café erupted into applause as the various members continued to jam to the music.

Envy addressed the fourth wall, which poofed into dust after so much abuse, "Well, this is the end. I'm pretty sure the author would appreciate reviews, and so do all the actors-I mean, characters-in the story. Brigette Janine says she's going to post some extras, including Wrath's dream about giant marshmallows and a few scenes from A Homunculus on the Roof. If you have any requests, feel free to PM the author or review. So stay around, because there's more coming. And remember; stay in school and away from yaoi!"

He waved to the audience and resumed dancing when a girl with spikey black hair attacked him from behind. From behind the laptop screen, a short dark haired girl had to pry the other girl off the protagonist. She was muttering, "No! Hope, get off the homunculus. Where's Olivia when you need her?"

The author gave one final wave to the readers and the story ended.

The End.

* * *

Now it's your turn! I'm already working on Wrath's dream with the lovely Shiloh Asha. either PM me or review with your requests! (There will probably be allusions to Harry Potter, Fiddler on the Roof, Godspell and -Man involved.)

Love you all!!

~~B


	13. Extra 1: Wrath's Dream

Hey everyone!! I promised it, and here it is, Wrath's dream where he got eaten by a giant marshmallow. To answer ArIN's question, I am an HP fan, and it was a vague reference to Ron Weasley. Thanks to Shiloh Asha and Tennessee for help with this. If you have any questions about the nonsense contained within, ask and you shall recieve.

So here it is.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, though I wish I owned Roy Mustang.

* * *

Extra 1: Wrath's Dream

(The night before Envy's audition)

Wrath lay down in bed as Sloth tucked him in. "Goodnight Mommy," he said sleepily.

"Goodnight Wrath," she said, patting him on the head. She turned off the lights of his room and closed the door.

Wrath snuggled his teddy bear as he fell fast asleep.

~DREAM~

Wrath woke up in a canoe. Not just any canoe, a marshmallow canoe. He was paddling across a lake that was steaming and smelled like chocolate. Dipping his hand into the water, he realized that the lake was really hot chocolate.

As Wrath paddled aimlessly across the lake, he heard voices on one of the shores. Paddling closer, he saw a tall statue with two figures bowing to it.

"Praise Leto!" called one of them. He had short black hair and was dressed in blue.

"Praise to the Sun god Leto, who brings light to our world!" The other one was shorter, but had long black hair, similarly cut to a palm tree and wore a tank top and miniskirt.

Wrath landed on the bank of the lake, and realized the two Leto-worshippers were Mustang and Envy. "Hi Envy!" he called, "I didn't know you were a Letoist!"

"Little known fact," Envy said, "Envy took up Letoism after spending _waaay_ too much time in Lior."

"And what's Mustang doing here?"

"Little known fact," said Mustang, "After Ishval Roy Mustang searched for religion and found Leto." Mustang then brought out two large plastic popcorn buckets and placed them on his and Envy's heads.

"Another little known fact," called Envy as they danced around the statue of Leto, "Envy collects plastic popcorn buckets." The two laughed manically as they continued the ritual.

Dante ran out of the woods on the lake. "Envy," she called shrilly, "get rid of these popcorn buckets. I don't have enough room for my bananas!"

"Never!" called Envy, and he ran into the forest.

"Oh, well," sighed Mustang, "If you can't fake it, facit," and ran into the woods after his religion buddy.

Thoroughly confused, Wrath continued into the woods, where he found a long business conference table in a clearing. Wrath sat down in an empty chair. Envy was standing up, being addressed by three men in suits. "…furthermore, to increase the popularity of the character, we have decide to dye your hair green for the anime."

"What?!" asked Envy, outraged, "they already call me a palm tree, do you think green hair will help?"

They handed him a bottle of hair dye, "We start in two days, you can do it whenever you're ready."

Wrath follower Envy out of the forest conference room, where he found Fuhrer King Bradley and his son, Selim on the shore. Selim was talking rationally to his father while holding a python in his hand, "You see, it's like being hit with a boa constrictor."

Wrath had gotten along well with Selim when Pride brought him to work, so he greeted the boy, "Hi Selim!"

"I'm not Selim," said the young boy in a hollow, metallic voice, "I'm Pride."

Wrath was perplexed, "Then, who's he?" he pointed to Bradley.

"I'm Wrath."

Wrath panicked, "Then who am I?"

A swell of orchestra music picked up, and Ed came running out of the forest, "You're Jean Valjean!!" he sang and stamped the number 24601 on his chest.

Wrath tried to escape the madness, but the new Pride pointed at the marshmallow canoe, which reared up, and grew teeth and eyes. The canoe looked at Wrath and ate him.

~END DREAM~

Wrath sat up in bed, drenched in sweat. "Mommy!" he shouted as he jumped out of bed and ran towards the door. " -ow!" He ran into the door, developing a bruise on his head. He opened the door and ran into the hall, " !!!!!!"

Sloth stepped out of the room she was sharing with Lust, wearing a bathrobe and slippers. "What is it Wrath?" she asked.

" !!!"

"Wrath,"

" mommymommymommymommy"

"Wrath,"

" mommymommymommy-"

Sloth grabbed his head, "What is it?" she asked

"I had a bad dream."

Wrath then continued for twenty minutes about his dream. When he was finally done, Sloth ruffled his hair and said, "Silly Wrath, stuff like that only happens in manga."

Far away, the fourth wall shattered.

Fin

* * *

I know it was short, and din't make much sense, but it was fun to write. Feel free to suggest other extras to do, because right now, next is probably the Homunculus on the Roof scene, "The Nightmare".

See you later!!

~~BJ


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